Now I’m not here to tell anyone how to cook eggs, and I still get many things wrong. I went into this pregnancy a novice. I found it hard in the beginning to adjust to my pregnant partner. Every couple are different in dealing with a pregnancy and stress. I do believe there are a few things I’ve learned that helped, more than make things worse.
1. Stay out of arguments. Period. Nothing she throws at you is personal. Unless you’re out with your mates all the time thinking you’ve done your bit. In which case, man up.
2. Always put her needs first.
3. Realise from the start that you are going to be wrong, a lot, about almost everything. Even if you know you are right about something, be wrong. Trust me it’s easier. Avoiding any conflict is vital to keeping her calmer. She’s not interested in your explanation of why you are right anyway, she just wants her ice-cream.
4. Never, ever mention any aches and pains you may be experiencing. Especially don’t wander into the delusional fantasy land of thinking that by commenting on how tired you are that you will receive any kind of sympathy or interest, you may receive a projectile of some sort, or at least an expletive laced ear-bending. Your going to be tired, for a long time. Suck it up buttercup. As a father of triplets told me a few months ago, you’ll sleep when your dead.
5. Dont try to fix her, she’s not a wonky shed door. If she needs to cry, let her cry. If she’s laughing hysterically, tread carefully. If she wants your help she’ll ask. Listen when she wants to talk, she doesn’t always want an answer.
6. stay out of anger. Don’t retaliate, no matter how tired you feel, or how stressed she is.
7. Do nice things for her, especially when she’s really pissed off with you. Not to blow too much smoke up my own backside but I got good at painting her toes. Being a welder I have a pretty steady hand. luckily I stopped worrying about what others may think of me a while ago. My only advice would be to always use a clear undercoat and go for a good quality varnish that sits after one coat. And take your time. You don’t want to be messing about with two coats and it will look messy.
8. If you are sent to the shop for a specific snack item and they don’t have it. Don’t use your initiative, it won’t be appreciated in this situation. Phone her with options, or drive round until specific snack is located. You may save an evening in separate rooms.
9. love her, by staying out of anger, you may feel it rising daily, just be aware of it. If you begin to resent her, you’ll begin to resent the babies, there will be problems under the surface even before they arrive. Care for her without expectation. Simply because she is suffering like you will never experience just to bring your children/child into this world. It’s your duty to her and the babies.
10. Buckle up. Develop elephant skin, and show her that you are there for her. No matter what. If you can practice patience daily, she will eventually meet you on the other side.
I will be adding a link to the meditation I use shortly. If anyone is struggling with agitation, over thinking, depression, fear or stress. I’m sure you will find it helpful as I have.