The benefits of mindfulness

I was first introduced to mindfulness whilst in dialectical behavioural therapy, shortly after being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. We talked a lot about being in ‘wise mind’ and not being ruled by our emotions. The meditation we practiced was based around Buddhist mindfulness and redirecting thoughts.

Again, whilst recovering from alcoholism in my mid thirties it was a life of ongoing meditation that would be the keystone to sobriety and spiritual growth. It was then that I searched for a practice that would benefit me, and one that was in line with the principles I had adopted whilst in recovery.

It was a long and difficult search to find the right mindfulness practice for me. As I discovered, most are based around Buddhism and eastern religions and philosophies. The problem was that I was not a Buddhist; not that I have anything against Buddhism, but I was raised in Christian values and although not a religious man I wanted to improve in the principles of love, patience and tolerance that I was introduced to in recovery. Spiritual principles grounded in faith – rather than self.

It was whilst searching for a meditation that I met a man who introduced me to non contemplative meditation. It was a non religious mindfulness exercise that didn’t conflict with my beliefs. It was a way to grow in faith and more importantly a way to build resilience against stress and overcome anxiety, depression and other internal conflicts.

Three years ago after developing CPS I eventually got referred to a pain clinic and the main topic of discussion was of finding a mindfulness meditation practice. Once again, meditation was introduced as a way to deal with the mental pressure of living with chronic pain. In short, every avenue of help during my lifetime has led to meditation as a solution to internal conflicts and poor mental health.

And meditation does more than just improve the mind. It reduces stress, which in turn improves the immune system. observing negativity without being affected by it has led to periods of lower pain days. It has also helped me overcome the fears I have experienced since developing CPS and led to a more positive attitude. It has also regulated my emotions, which for someone with bpd (borderline personality disorder) is a huge deal.

There are litteraraly hundreds of meditation practices available. Many are guided distraction techniques which are helpful in the short term and can be useful in a flare up. But using distraction as a long term practice only serves to suppress problems further. Stress needs to be dealt with, in the moment, as we go about our days. Conscious awareness dissolves negative emotions the more we practice being mindful in the moment.

If you are new to meditation and are unsure where to begin I can suggest a free, non religious practice that is a way to seperate from thoughts and be conscious in the moment. This is a powerful awakening exercise. One that expels resentment energy and free’s us from the bondage to negativity. I have been practicing it daily for the last 7 years and it has been life changing.

Mindfulness is at the centre of my life and as a result it has allowed me to let go of a lot of the frustration and fear around my condition. I now find myself at a place of acceptance – which isn’t approval. It just means I no longer struggle emotionally and no longer harbour anger at the injustice of living with chronic pain. I can highly recommend making Mindfulness a daily practice in your tool box. It can change the course of your life. It is a powerful line of defence against the emotional battering of CPS.

The simplicity of real meditation

Firstly it’s important to understand that you don’t need a guru. You won’t need to buy any books or attend any classes. There is nothing to buy or learn. Non contemplative meditation is unlike anything out there and practicing it is life changing.

If you are new to meditation or are considering embarking on a practice then look no further. If you are unaware of meditation as a daily practice you may be questioning why you should even bother. Like I did once, you may think it’s for new age hippies or monks and it’s just a wishy-washy practice. Boy, was I wrong!

We live in an ever growing stressful world. As parents we are dealing with children who are exposed to more temptation and pressure than my generation ever was. We have to deal with tantrums and unruly toddlers. Stressed out teenager’s and pandemics that saw us in lockdown. And without a way to stay emotionally solid it’s all too easy to get pulled into the drama. When adults are overwhelmed with emotions it is the children that suffer.

The benefits of mindfulness are now well documented. Doctors, therapist’s and health clinics now suggest it as a way to remain mentally balanced. But there is so much more when meditating without contemplation. There is no fantasising about sun drenched beaches, or hypnotic tools such as focusing on breathing or using mantras. This isn’t an eastern practice. It is not derived from buddhism.

This is about returning to the consciousnes we were born with, before the world and resentment got into us. It is a powerful awakening exercise that free’s us from our resentments and fears and brings us back to a place of natural balance. Where stress can no longer overwhelm us.

Excitement, anger and other emotionally charged feelings create stress on the body. Over time they can cause heart conditions and other physical complications. Real meditation is not about feeling nice and floaty or chasing peace and harmony. It is not a self centred endeavour.

Real meditation is a way to pull back from the stream of thought and detach from emotions. So that they no longer overwhelm us. And it that place of neutrality we discover real freedom and our God given intuition. We find a new path in life and a way to build resilience to stress.

We start to heal from a lifetime of disconnection to love and truth. It’s why real meditation can be painful at times but is vital to our survival.
It is possible to live without resentment. All it takes is a willingness to be still twice a day, and know that you are not God. Then everything changes and you can never be the same.

Just 15 minutes is enough for this powerful awakening exercise to work.

Accepting the here and now

Living in the present moment can be difficult. Especially if we are facing a problem that is hard to accept.

We may be dealing with rocky personal relationships, financial difficulties, disabilities or any number of stressful events that keep our minds racing and cause us to distract from the internal pressures these life events bring.

When I was active in alcoholism I was constantly seeking relief from the stress of daily life. I was unable to mentally deal with my problems so my solution was to always hit the bottle. It was my way of coping. And it worked. The problem was that my obsessive need to seek relief from my inner conflicts was incredibly destructive. For me and those around me.

In getting sober the first time around I was forced to to learn to live with the problems life threw at me. I quickly found other unhealthy distractions that kept me out of dealing with the here and now. Porn addiction for one, I also sought out unhealthy relationships that were nothing but ways to keep my ego fed as I tried to survive daily life.

Feel good distractions kept me temporarily sober but did me no good. I always ended up back at the bottle, wracked with guilt and resentment at my inability to cope with life.

When I eventually found permanent sobriety I also discovered non contemplative meditation. And in doing so I found a way to sit still, to practice living in the present moment, free from anger and fear. It was sometimes a difficult practice. My ego still tried to convince me that meditation was a waist of time, that there were other ways to feel better without getting better. I became aware of the destructive nature I had within me and became willing to be freed from it.

I stuck with the meditation despite the constant internal pull away from it. I have now been practicing it daily for over 7 years and what I have discovered is that the present moment is a life changing metaphysical plane of existence. Where acceptance of the pressure’s of life is possible, without fearing them or running from them.

Through separating from the whirlpool of negative thinking I have been placed in a position to observe what passes through my mind and can remain unaffected by it. Therefore there is no internal conflict to seek relief from which isn’t easy sometimes with chronic pain.

Acceptance isn’t approval. Much of what life has thrown at me, from triplets to chronic pain have been stressful events that have almost pulled me under at times. But I have learned to sit with the discomfort and pressure I have felt. I no longer run away or seek to distract. I face life on life’s terms and in doing so I am less inclined to resent or fear my situation.


The Moment

How many of us can say that we really live in the moment? With such busy lives it seems such an elusive concept.

Even when relaxing our minds don’t seem to quiet down. A bombardment of thoughts steal away the here and now, leaving us in the past or worrying about the future.

Stress energy collects whilst we are asleep in the whirlpool of thoughts

We live in stressful times. Pandemics, work concerns, financial and family problems keep us lost in overthinking and for the most – negativity. We find ways to distract ourselves with thing’s like exersise, music, books and Netflix. But these brief moments of escape don’t solve the worry problem. Even of the hundreds of meditation exercises on you tube, most are mere distraction techniques, pulling us away further from the moment.

So why is it so Important to live in the moment? Surely it’s more beneficial to deal with life as it unfolds. A life of stress, driven by overthinking will only lead to poor health and eventually more serious physical ailments and heart conditions. Negative emotions drain us of energy and life.

Negative emotions cause outward ripples

The moment is not so difficult to find. First it takes a commitment to stillness, meditating without contemplation. Simply stepping back observing the thought’s and chatter of the mind that would usually drag us in. By doing this we are cutting ties with the emotions that tempt us to react.

Once we have meditated this way for a short time it becomes easier to stay in an awakened state, free from the negative ties to emotion. Worry and fear fall away without effort, anxiety no longer plagues us because we are not getting caught up in the whirlpool of overthinking as we once did.

Living in the present moment also brings a protection. When we meditate this special way we begin to live with grace, becoming less and less affected by other’s emotional responses. We find a real clarity as a natural God given intuition replaces the ever doubtful thinking of the ego. We become placed in a position of neutrality to the world. Safe, protected and free to deal with life consciously.

The moment is a truly miraculous place. One, that once experienced opens the door to a new plane of existence. We become connected and present in the world in real time, free from the bondage of the ego and it’s negative existence. We become inspired and brought back to life. Awake, aware and ready for anything that life throws at us.

Dissolving anger in the present moment

I read an article this week suggesting that it’s healthy for a couple to argue. That releasing negative emotions on each other is some how beneficial to a relationship and one’s self. Sounds to me like an excuse for those with no other way to communicate their issues.

So I’d like to call BS on that. Nothing is more destructive than anger. Whether it’s petty annoyances that are griping on you or bigger resentments that keep cropping up, to shout and ball at each other is no way to deal with het up anger. It may feel good to unleash judgement on your partner but it doesn’t really solve anything. Anger continues to bubble under the surface.

Children especially need to grow up in an environment that is free from stress and external pressures. A child learns from their environment, so to grow up believing that shouting and arguing is normal and healthy is damaging. Sure, we all get short fused at times raising kids, there are times that anger gets passed us. But to have anger and judgement as a normal way to alleviate stress is just insane.

Giving in to anger is futile

Anger is anything but a normal healthy emotion. It is a destructive force that only creates chaos and more problems within a family unit. Jealousy, bitterness, fear even the small annoyances are all forms of anger/resentment. The destructive emotional responses wound out of negative thoughts do nothing to benefit an individual who is in a stressful situation.

There is a better way to live and to grow emotionally. But it takes a leap of faith into the unknown by way of non contemplative meditation. To parent and raise a family consciously takes a commitment to do so. This meditation is a way to step back from anger as it rises, no matter who pisses you off or how justified you feel to respond.

Meditation for years has given men and women a new way to cope with stress and deal with life. This exercise in particular is a game changer when it comes to overcoming resentment and fear. Even the emotional damage of past traumas dissolve in the present moment, Simply by being consciously aware of ourselves. It creates a protection. Once the body is full of light, darkness is driven out. Be aware that it is a spiritual solution so keep an open mind going into it.

I will leave the link here to the free exercise. If you feel like you are at a point where you know you need to change the way you deal with your emotions, but are unsure how. This exersise will be just what you are looking for.

Replace anger with the principles of love and tolerance and your family relationships will never be the same. Talking through problems becomes natural, no shouting required.


Stress and pressure are forces i meet daily being a dad. They are inescapable, from dealing with chronic pain to dealing with the many daily tantrums.

All this pressure has a detrimental effect – if I let it get to me.

Over the last few years there has been the constant temptation to resent my situation. Being thrown into fatherhood with triplets has not been a smooth ride. It has been a life altering event.

In the early day’s I got overwhelmed with our situation. Suffering from sleep deprivation whilst trying to hold down a job was an intense effort. One that I gratefully survived by the skin of my teeth. I almost cracked under the pressure of new fatherhood on more than one occasion.

A force to be reckoned with

Once resentment gets in it changes my ability to cope. Instead of practicing patience and tolerance I get lost in overthinking and judgment of everyone and everything around me. Irritable and short tempered is an ugly state to be in. Especially with a young family to support, and who are relying on me to be emotionally strong.

There has been one constant in my life. One that I have practiced since getting sober 8 years ago. Meditation has always pulled me back from the brink of madness. From developing central pain syndrome to becoming a fathers to triplets I have always been dedicated to living consciously. To improve as a husband and father.

I haven’t always faired well and have suffered from resenting the path I have been given at times. There are still times that I get overwhelmed with my lot. But these minor back steps into fear and resentment never last. As I have already said – it is meditation that has always been at the centre of my life that has kept me afloat and out of anger.

If you are a dad who is struggling i will leave the link to the free meditation exersise. If you can stick at it your life will change beyond measure. Life doesn’t need to be a struggle. And stress can ultimately become a force we can sharpen from. If we reconnect to the light – anxiety and deppresion no longer run our lives. It’s that simple.

Non-Contemplative Meditation™

The meditation

As a parent stress is inevitable. Demanding routines can seem relentless as we all face the pressures of daily life. It can be all to easy to become consumed by the agitation and anxieties that crop up throughout the day. And when those negative emotions start affecting those closest to us all sorts of problems arise.

As a someone who has overcome serious mental health problems and alcoholism, it is crucial that I remain emotionally consistent for my family. I do that by way of a unique Non contemplative meditation I found a good few years ago. This doesn’t mean I’m a perfect human being, I’m definitely not a parenting Guru. But I am improving. And life is about moving forward. I want to be the best man I can be for my children.

Now this isn’t a sales pitch. Nor I am telling you that this meditation is for you right now. It may not be. Only you will know if you are at a time in your life where you are open-minded to facing the pressures of life in a way you may never have done before. From a place of conscious awareness.

If you are up against the stresses of balancing work and home-life, if you are a stay at home parent or are flying solo you will know what it is to feel overwhelmed occasionally by your situation.

There’s no escaping the temptation to resent the cards we’ve been dealt with from time to time, only to suffer the emotional pull of guilt for feeling that way about the people we love. Parenting is an emotional rollercoaster. One that should strengthen us – rather than beat us down. The key to meeting stress lies in a very special meditation exercise.

Coming from a broken, unstable home, I know full well the effects growing up in a stressed environment can have on a child. It is why I feel it is so important to share this free meditation exercise with you. The link is below. It has literally changed my life.

I am not a buddhist. I have no guru and I am not part of any cult groups. I do however have a faith which was acquired through my own personal experience of seeking God. I am simply a working man who has discovered a way to live consciously in the stream of life, free from emotional conflicts and free to be of use to those who rely on me the most.

By discovering the present moment and living consciously we also discover a spiritual protection against the force of resentment, it never fails. I have also found a way to raise my family with the principles of love, patience and tolerance, free from anger so my children can thrive in a relatively stress free environment.

Here’s the free meditation link

The inner voice of doubt

When I finally got sober a few moons ago I became acutely aware of the noise in my head. Intrusive thoughts, mostly negative, would bombard me from the moment I woke up until I went to bed.

We all experience the inner voice of doubt to some extent. Thoughts delivered on drip feed that pull us away from the moment into a fantasy land. And we believe these thoughts to be ours. So we listen and react, unaware that these thoughts are not of us, but of the ego. A separate entity that feeds on drama and fear.

We try and overcome our own negativity with distractions and more thinking, positive affirmations to counteract the negative. It becomes a battle of wills against our own thoughts. We struggle and get lost in the conflicts further for the effort. It’s a battle we can not win on our own.

The voice of ego thrives on doubt. You know the voice that tells you you won’t get the job you want so why bother trying. The thoughts that something negative is going to ruin your good mood. Always negative the ego nourishes on resentment energy, fed through your thoughts and emotional responses. It’s a powerful thing.

Being over emotional is not a nice healthy trait. Leaving yourself wide open to be influenced by anything or anyone that causes something to rise in you and cause you to react with exitment or fear isn’t good. You’ve given up your natural ability to discern true from false. Your being owned by the events and people around you and probably have no idea it’s happening. Ego feeds and you suffer. It’s a hard roundabout to be on.

The solution to overthinking and the inner voice is to seperate from them. Observe them objectively, without fear and without reaction. Simply become an observer of your own mind. A watcher rather than a thinker. In this conscious state of awareness we become unmoved by the negativity. It shrinks to right size and life changes drastically. We no longer are ruled by emotions but guided by intuition.

This conscious state some call the 4th dimension of existence is simple to get to. It just takes a very simple and free meditation exercise. A non contemplative meditation that is unlike anything else out there.

If you are drained by your own mind and need to find a new way to exist. If you are tired of the inner voices of doubt try this exercise. Keep an open mind and have your own experience. See for yourself that ego is not your friend, shrink it in the light and never let it take the wheel of your life again.

Non-Contemplative Meditation™

Stress, stress and more stress

It’s inevitable – it keeps coming day after day, hour after hour. How we respond to stress is the difference between strengthening from it, or getting ground down by it

If we respond with fear, judgement, irritation and annoyance we fall prey to the force of resentment. It infects us in each stressful moment. And it’s easier to suppress it and get on with your day, unless you find a healthy way to face it.

It may be only little events that piss us off. Perhaps the kids are playing up, maybe you get a bill that you weren’t expecting and haven’t budgeted for. With each emotional response we can either meet the pressures of life with grace, or we just stumble along being battered by events beyond our control.

Stress is inevitable

I used to live that way. In an over emotional state unable to mentally handle the pressures of the day. It was like living in a whirlpool of over thinking, over analysing every event that didn’t go the way I wanted it to. And it was a futile way exist because life is full of the unexpected.

I needed to find a way to deal with stress, without being constantly overwhelmed. The main problem was my overthinking. My mind never shut off. It was a cesspool of negative thoughts and memories that I had to deal with before I even began to face the day. I would wake up to worry and somehow muddle through the day hoping that nothing went wrong. And it did – continually.

There is a way to seperate from thoughts and become objective to them. It’s done through an incredibly simple free meditation practice. It is a way to live in the moment, free from emotional entanglement.

When we deal with life without all the overthinking, from a place of conscious awareness absolutely everything changes. We begin to face life with courage, reborn and ready to deal with anything life throws at us. Responding with grace, patience and tolerance.

Chilled toddlers – sometimes

We live in stressful times but that doesn’t mean we have to live emotionally affected by the events in the world right now.

The link to the free meditation exercise is at the bottom of this linked blog post.

Freedom from anger in the stream of life

The biggest killer in the world is heart disease, the main contributing factor is stress.

Jealousy, bitterness, petty irritations, anxiety, anger and rage are all evidence that something dark has infiltrated your psyche. Resentment has taken a hold on your life. It makes life a trial that becomes ever more difficult to navigate without being constantly knocked back by stressful events.

From dealing with the pressures of lockdown to the stresses of home schooling the kids, these stresses if not faced with grace will collect and create more problems in the way you approach and deal with life.

Anger isn’t a healthy emotion to be managed. It is a dark force that we must be freed from if we are to live long and healthy lives. Discovering this truth marks the beginning of a path to Freedom. It is possible to become free from the negative emotional charge of resentment. You don’t have to believe me. If you meditate a certain way you will have your own experience.

Through our emotions, fed by our thinking we learn unhealthy ways to cope with the negativity we experience in the stream of life. We use food, sex, relationships or anything that feels good and distracts us from the conflicts within ourselves.

Getting free from the resentment energy we have collected over the years is incredibly simple. If you imagine a vessel filled with darkness, if you were to fill it with light the darkness would leave. Light would replace it. If you meditate without contemplation, without distractions or focusing on breathing, just by being still you can access light. A spiritual light, a force of love that expels darkness/resentment.

Within a few days you will firstly become aware of the negativity within you. It may get louder. Don’t let this frighten you. Have a little faith and soon it will pass without any effort on your behalf. You will soon realise that a supernatural force of love has done for you what seemed impossible.

No meditation is a toy. And this is a very powerful awakening exercise. So if you are struggling with negativity, overthinking, or any type of emotional disturbance I will leave the link here. It’s at the bottom of this blog post. It’s free, there’s nothing to buy or learn. It is simply a way to become free from resentment and live consciously without the constant emotional struggles.

God bless x