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Cold coffee

There were times during the pregnancy when I would think forward to enjoying an afternoon, watching a couple of films on a Sunday with my family , chilling out with all the jobs done, and putting my feet up for a while. Catching up on some much-needed rest and rejuvenating a little. Just a free couple of hours to sit back and take stock, then march back into the stream of life feeling fresh and ready for anything.

I can report that this is yet to happen. Probably won’t for around twenty years now, by which point we will possibly then be looking after grandchildren. If Frankie starts a family. Although in recent weeks things have improved as far as sleep goes, triplets are game changers.

I think it was heading into the third trimester that I realised there was never going to be that free Sunday afternoon watching films like the old days, relaxing with my feet up. I almost resented it a little bit and needed to be aware of that, a little self-pity can cause big problems when a man starts down that path. There was already enough tension in the house.

Heres a typical day for me when they came home from hospital.

Wake up between 2am & 3am. It’s normally Blakely that wakes up first. I change her and pass her to Stacey to put on the boob. I then put music videos on the phone to keep me awake, while i tickle Stacey’s back which in turn keeps her awake. Then Repeat another two times.


A feed can take any where between 20 – 30 mins. When one is fed, all are fed as it’s easier to keep feeds together.

I get back to sleep between half 3 & half 4am. Blakely usually then wakes again between 6 & 7am. I change a baby, get ready for work, maybe change another if I have time.

leave for work at 7.30am and work a physical job til 5pm

walk through the door, shower and cook dinner. Change babies before feeds, then help pacify babies until bath time around 10pm. Some nights I was able to get an hours sleep during the early evening. Depending how the triplets were behaving. Not often though.

Bath time and last feeds are usually done by midnight. Babies typically all asleep by 1 – 1.30am.

Get up between 2 & 3am and begin feeds again.

I need to add, this is also with three of us in the house as Stacey’s Mum was living with us. Without that help it would have been a lot harder, on Stacey during the day, and me during the evenings. I take my hat off to parents of multiples who have to do those early days alone.

At nine weeks and three days the triplets all slept through without waking for the 2 – 3am feeds.It was a massive milestone for all of us. That block of sleep was enough to begin to feel normal again.

If you have multiples, and you make a cup of coffee. Don’t ever expect to drink it while it’s hot.



And if you get five minutes to yourself, enjoy it, if you can stay awake to do so.



Out of the SCBU & in at the deep end

The triplets came home on a Monday. They were transported one at a time by Stacey’s Mum, only because we only had one car seat at that point, due to delivery problems with the other two. I was back at work earning, so finishing work was exciting, there was also a sense of nervous anticipation.

There wasn’t any amount of mental preparation that would have me ready for the weeks to come. If you’re expecting multiples, expect tiredness, frustration, agitation, sleep deprivation, and lots of visitors with lots advice on the best way to do things. Your house won’t be yours for a good while. It’s just how it was for us. Our situation was anything but normal.

The set up at home for the triplets is a large travel cot in the living room that they all stay in during the day. At night they are positioned around our little bedroom in separate cots. As they were premature babies they did continue to sleep the majority of the time, so it did ease us into it a little bit. For a week or two at least.

Their shared cot

The number one priority when they came home was getting them settled and continuing a strict routine. Stacey and her Mum did an amazing job settling them into this.

I found many things challenging in those early weeks. I found it difficult being at work with my newborns at home. Even though Stacey’s Mum had moved in to help,  I began to feel edged out.

Some of Stacey’s anxieties resurfaced and she began to resent that I got to go to work during the day, I remember her saying during a heated moment, that my life hadn’t changed at all. I began to resent that she got to go back to sleep after the morning feeds when I left for work, it felt like my tiredness was irrelevant. It was all just stress coming between us again.

We were both exhausted. Stacey from breastfeeding and tiredness,  and me from work and not stopping in the evenings. All the above was fuelled by sleep deprivation and stress. It was back and it was getting to all of us.

looking back, and it’s not that long ago, it’s all a bit blurry to be honest. It was tough going, there were times it felt it would never end. There is a dimension of tiredness you enter that fogs your mind, where you know your suffering mentally but become numb to it. It’s almost nice.

In the end I was just functioning. Some nights after the babies hit full term, we were getting a broken hour and a half sleep, then I’d drive to work with the windows down to stay awake. Do a full day, then home and repeat.

You realise quickly that you’ll do anything for them. They are one hundred percent reliant on your presence

I never got resentful towards the babies though, I never felt a twinge of anger towards them. Knowing all I was doing was for my family, and that where we were wasn’t permanent, kept me afloat at times.

The grown ups in the house were not doing so great at times, but the babies were thriving still.

That was what was important getting through those first weeks. And we did get through.