Book review

Hi all.

Just want to share with you a book review I had this week for my publication ‘From triples to triplets; The making of a triplet dad’.

A massive thanks to Ember at ‘Relentlessly Purple’ for taking the time to read my book and give this review.

If you haven’t already got a copy it is available on Amazon. There is a direct link to it on my home page.

From Triples To Triplets: The Making Of A Triplet Dad By S.C Wood

First book review – ‘From triples to triplets’

Hi all.

Just a short post to say the first review of my book is in. If you are interested, here’s the link. A big thanks to Jenny at The brick castle .

https://www.thebrickcastle.com/2020/01/a-meditative-parent-making-of-triplet.html?spref=tw&m=1

My book is now available on Amazon in paperback and on kindle.

Toddler life

Everything is interesting and life is never boring. And I absolutely love this faze of the girls development.

Of course they have their problems as they learn to understand the world around them. Like getting upset because they can’t get books in the bath, minor issues that can cause big upset. But they are finding their way. What is right from wrong and how to deal with the emotional firings they experience when they don’t get their own way. Just the normal development obstacles all toddlers face.

Always investigating

Above the little problems, Ava Blakely and Lacey are simply funny. The way they play and interact is fascinating to watch from ringside. I can already see Ava, in charge at the head of a company. She’s as bright as a light and confident in almost everything she gets involved in. She has a caring nature and is quick to point out if someone is sad and comfort them. She has also got in the habit of following me around, shouting ‘Dada’ at the top of her voice until she gets my full attention. A lesson in patience for me at times.

Ava

Lacey is a sweetie. After a trying faze of willful defiance she is now more content and calm. The naughty step has helped this along. She is definitely the most artistic of the three. When it comes to drawing and painting, where Ava and Blakely tend to got wild on the paper, Lacey takes her time and puts thought into what she is doing. She concentrates to create neatness and stay on the paper. She loves singing and dancing as they all do.

Lacey

Blakely is one of a kind. Slightly behind her sisters in little things like her speech but confident to always try new words. Her walking has come on in leaps and bounds – literally! Whereas Ava and Lacey are usually never far apart, Blakely is still content to make her own fun and keep herself entertained.

The naughty step has little effect on this one. From being the most chilled of the three when she puts her foot down in defiance she means business. She has a fire in her but it rarely surfaces. Singing and dancing are probably her favourite things, and we love the entertainment they all bring.

Blakely

No matter what is going on in the stream of life, there is never a dull moment in this family. The girls are hard work, but that’s heavily outweighed by the joy they shine with.

If you want to read more about how they got here, and how I finally found my way in fatherhood. My book is now available.

Involved men make confident children

Most of the conclusions I have come to around parenting have been drawn from my own experience. And in understanding my own failures, to then being willing to see the changes I would need to bring into my own life as a dad. It hasn’t been easy at times.

Children need stability. I see more than ever that raising healthy and confident children takes certain vital ingredients. Of course those certain elements that we as parents are adding in from day to day will not always be given with balance, because the tectonic plates of life are constantly moving. But working together to bring consistency to our daughters lives is important.

Four big responsibilities

I spent the majority of my life resenting a dad that didn’t have any time for me. His involvement with himself and his personal issues didn’t afford him a great deal of time to focus on a relationship with me. And to see the relationships others had with dads who were proud of their kids, who took an interest in their lives was hard for me to take in. Throw in the abuse and his addiction and our relationship was so far from anything I could see my friends were experiencing. It was bound to affect me and did.

Over the years it became apparent that there was a common thread in others, like me, who had been failed by the one man in a their lives who should have been the constant figure of stability, strength and love. They all suffered emotionally from the damage of that damaged separation. Anger problems, addiction issues and unhealthy relationships centred around control and fear became normal.

Some men go into fatherhood knowing exactly what their role is. And how his own conscious approach to dealing with the massive pressures coming will impact his family for the better. A lot of men don’t, not because they are bad. But because they, like me grew up walking a very different path to one of knowing and understanding the importance of the principles of love and tolerance with a family.

A beautiful connection

A fathers involvement in the most stressful event can tip the balance of an already emotionally volatile situation for the better. The smallest gestures from day one can ease tensions and bring confidence to a pregnant partner who is already going through the emotional wringer. Early bonding for an example, can relief stress and give a show of commitment. It is also a way to begin to connect. To make a start on a relationship that will not always be easy.

From day one involvement is everything to a father/child relationship. Patience and tolerance, if put at the centre of a home can make all the difference. But it takes a willingness to practice those simple principles in his life. To be willing to outgrow his fears and shortcomings, to grow as a man in his responsibilities. If the weight of his role can be carried with care and attention. His children will benefit and thrive under his love. And Mum will also benefit from his stability.

A glance back at 2019

As was pointed out to me recently my life is not normal. In many ways it never has been.

From the self created tornado I got thrown out of 6 years ago before meeting Stacey, we have had little time to stop to breath. A year after getting married a triplet pregnancy brought me into another tornado, one that gave me more purpose than I have ever felt.

If you follow this little corner of the web, you will have followed our journey as a family. And it’s been an intense ride.

From having to adjust to a doubling of my family unit overnight – to having to step up to the emotional pressures I faced as a first time biological dad, I’ve had to stay on the ball to overcome the fears and concerns that arised in our situation. Having missed Frankie’s early years, being baptised into the fire of newborns with triplets has been no joke.

This time a year ago on new years eve I was taken into to hospital for an MRI scan, unable to walk and overwhelmed with widespread nerve pain. So as well as dealing with home-life over the year I’ve been faced with the discovery of a permanent pain condition and now testing for traumatic brain injury. But today I feel good, rested and positive about the road ahead.

Works changed, my personal life has been physically and mentally limited but they are new adjustments that I will overcome and adapt to.

As for my daughters, Frankie is now at high school, loving the experience and doing well in her classes, exceptionally in some. She has found her place as big sister to her three bossy little sisters, she has a patience with them. A principle I strived to bring to my family that is continually paying off.

My wife has become the ultimate mom. I am in awe at her natural ability to manage our daughters needs. She has a flawless intuition to deal with them in a loving no-nonsense way. Her strength and ability to find humor in any situation has been a rock for us this year as I’ve struggled at times with accepting my condition.

I also managed to complete and publish my book in the summer. A labour of love which documents my journey into insanity as a result of my own dysfunctional upbringing and lack of a father’s support. From overcoming the damage of my past to becoming a loving parent and how I dealt with the pregnancy and first six months of the arrival of triplets. I wanted to give an example of the difference a father can make to his family when love and tolerance become central principles to his home.

The title has recently changed so as not to be confused with it being a self help book. ‘From triples to triplets: The making of a triplet dad’ is now available on Amazon.

Now as the year closes to and end I still feel a sense of achievement, one that comes from faith, and stepping back to see my family thriving and growing in confidence despite the challenges we have hit along the road.

I have no doubt the road ahead will continue to bring its struggles and highs and lows, but as dad it all comes back to one thing for me. To stay strong and to do my best to raise my family with the love and light that has brought us this far.

I wish you all the best for the new year. And that it brings you all you need – and a little bit of what you want.

Si x

5 years!

Five years ago on a beach in Dubai, after a beautiful church service I finally tied the knot with the beautiful Mrs Wood.
I was the most memorable day of my life. I even had a ring made for Frankie and read her vows, she started calling me Daddy from that day.

To say the last 5 years have been a rollercoaster would be an understatement. Among the inevitable ups and downs of life we have stuck together and grown together to create a loving family, one God saw fit to entrust us with the triplets.

Stacey I am proud to be the man you chose to be by your side through it all. And proud to be your husband. I love you and wouldn’t want to share this beautiful insanity with anyone else x

A Christmas break

I hope you have all had an enjoyable time over this Christmas period. As hectic as it may be.

We have been able to share the load as it were with Stacey’s family. It means we get to rest and recuperate a little. With extra bodies to chase after the triplets and help with the routine it’s a break we always look forward to with a a sense of relief.

The girls were more aware this year of what was going on as far as Santa goes. Being 2 years 6 months old they are far more active and excitable which has made this year so much fun.

They loved Christmas morning, coming in to the living room in the morning to find three sacks from Santa. They received books, learning toys and games. Their fascination with books keeps them occupied for ages which gives the rest of us time to focus on other duties. They’ve also discovered peppa pig, a program they love.

They are interacting and playing with each other constantly at the moment. They still jiber jabber in their own language but their speech is also coming on well. Ava loves to point out who she is and tell stories, Blakely loves to sing and Lacey likes to grab your hand and take you to show you things around the house.

Stacey and I also have some time booked out for ourselves. Her sister and family are taking the triplets over night our wedding anniversary date. So a meal is booked and a day to ourselves will see us free to not be constantly wondering what girls are up to. Just to have that drop of responsibility for a short time is a real treat. It means we can focus on each other. A rare opportunity in our lives now. Frankie is also enjoying a break from routine and spending time as she pleases.

This break has been much easier for me pain-wise. I made sure I had a plan in place to take short rest breaks, to not push myself as I always have done and to not feel guilty for stepping back a bit. So far, with meditation and a change in medication, along with tips and tricks I’ve learned in the pain management group I’ve avoided a flare up so far and kept my pain levels down. It means I get to enjoy the day’s more, rather than counting down the hour’s until I can get into bed.

We will be seeing the new year in before we head back home. Only now I’m beginning to feel more optimistic about managing my situation. I have a few important neurology appointments coming up and with continued support and work with the pain clinic I feel less pressure to push myself. Pressure I was only creating for myself.

I have finally began to accept my illness, and in doing so stopped the mental struggle of dealing with forced changes in my life. It’s been tough, but I have faith, a strength far beyond what I need to continue working towards remaining a good husband and father. In a sense I know I’m taken care of, whatever happens down the road.

On another note if you got a kindle for Christmas and need a good book to read, my first book release is available on Amazon. With 5 star reviews it is my personal journey into fatherhood. Here’s the link.

Si x

Merry Christmas!

Firstly I hope you are all well and looking forward to a Christmas holiday spent with friends and family.

We have made our annual trip to Stacey’s parents for the holidays. Which means extra space and a few more pairs of hands. It’s a break we’ve been in need of after such a turbulent year.

The triplets have been getting a handful lately. They are not bad toddler’s, just at an age of testing the limits with us. So we’re both grateful for a break from our routine. As you can probably imagine with just the two of us dealing with them on a daily basis it’s not a circumstance without its pressures.

Frankie also gets to spend some quality time with her cousin which she always looks forward to. A deserved break from dealing with babies, as much as she loves her sister’s she understandably needs a break from them and to have a little time out.

I can’t put into words how proud I am of her, especially since she came home with her first term report from high school and discovered that she is excelling in a few classes. To have experienced all she has at such a young age and to remain so focused just shows how strong she is. The triplets absolutely love their big sister.

Stacey has also had a huge amount to deal with since the uncertainty that surrounded my health last Christmas. It’s been established that I have an underlying brain injury. Much of the cause down to decade’s of head injuries while living an alcoholic lifestyle. It would have been a miracle had I emerged from that life unscathed, unfortunately a car accident last year has exacerbated existing problems. Ones that we are both now having to come to terms with.

My wife has to deal with my memory issues and cognitive problems as well as the debilitating chronic pain. But we have a strong marriage, and she has a no nonsense sense of humour that keeps us positive about our situation in the tougher times. She deserves a medal, I’m a lucky man to have such a good woman in my life.

So from my family to you, wherever you are in the world in this season of forgivenes, love, compassion and hope, We wish you a merry Christmas.

Thanks again for taking the time to follow my ramblings. It means a lot to me.

God bless

Si x

Lowering the bar

Maybe a step backwards is a chance to review where we are and discover a different way forward? A little like learning from a mistake. I like to think of it this way as my car seems to get stuck in reverse more than it does first gear at the moment.

have spent the last year mentally punishing myself for losing my footing in life due to illness. Up until the accident I knew what I wanted to achieve in life and had the physical and mental ability ability to stay on the path I believed I was supposed to walk.

Knowing my responsibilities keeps me afloat at times

Now I’m in a rut of constantly lowering the bar in life with what I want to achieve. The bigger goals in life have rapidly slid out of the window and instead the goals I work towards now are more like going to the shop, remembering what I went for and making back without a physical flare up. Or making it through the day without having a sleep. These are achievable, but not always.

The better days of manageable batterings are hampered by the reality that any moment, for any number of reasons my central nervous system will start firing off signals to my brain which doesn’t hesitate to respond with pain.

Flare ups do not happen regularly. But when they do I cannot describe the physical and mental torture I have to endure. They are exhausting, draining and unbeatable. I have to learn to live with them. Central pain syndrome is like having an unwanted companion that is ready to knock you out with a shovel when it thinks you need it.

I keep as busy as I can to stop seizing up

Needless to say I have found myself going backwards occasionally. After years without deppresion I find myself getting overwhelmed with negativity, struggling to stay conscious of what is going on around me. It’s In these moments I get fed the horrible thoughts, the self pity comes down like a hammer and among the electric shocks and brain fog I run out of mental steam. I simply can’t cope. I have sat in tears on more than one occasion, beaten down by pain I cannot control or stop. I’m not ashamed to admit it, there are moments it’s almost broken me.

The biggest problem is that I begin to resent. And when I do my pain levels increase. Stress is a big factor in flaring up my condition. So I have had to stop fighting myself to pick myself up and push on. I’ve had to accept new limitations around work and physical activity. And be okay with them. I’ve had to ask for help at home which I find difficult. Because I feel like I’m failing my wife in doing so. We have both had to accept a new situation. It’s not been easy for either of us. We have to be okay with me being less.

So I’ve accepted that there will be steps backwards occasionally, and that I am going to get overwhelmed in the times my condition gets out of control.

I need to remember that the path I was walking is no longer there, that much of what I wanted is now beyond reach. So to step backwards has opened my eyes for the need to find another route forward. One I can manage with out resenting and bring a bit of peace back to my mind. Life has changed, and among the other forced changes I need to mentally adapt, because the shovel is coming whether I like it or not.

A little review goes a long way

Hi all.

I would firstly like to say a big thank you to all who have bought copies of my book. As a first time author, and being unsure how it would be received I have been overwhelmed with the positive messages and feedback I have been sent since it was published.

I believe a father’s perspective should be made available to anyone who may want to understand the emotional journey taken by a new dad.

If you have read it you will know that it isn’t a parenting manual, or a ‘how to’ book. It is written as a personal story of my life as it was as a result of a destructive relationship with my own dad. And how the hard lessons I learned from that relationship drove my need to be a better man for my wife and children.

From getting sober and meeting Stacey and Frankie, I then document the pregnancy and first six months of the triplets arrival. And share honestly the pressures I faced during that period of my life. Pressures that threatened to pull apart our relationship had I not already discovered a way to cope with stress.

It is a journey from triples to triplets. A loaded book that I am told is a page turner. I am just glad it is already benefiting others in some small way.

I would greatly appreciate if you have read my book to leave a review on Amazon. Being self published, it is the reviews that will stand out. And I hope this book reaches as many struggling parents who may not otherwise discover it.

Many thanks

Si