When I sit with the girls, and I see how crystal clear and awake they are right now, I see the most enlightened beings on earth. we all begin life this way, with a natural conscious connection to light. Free from anger, fear and judgment, before the pressures and corruption of the world get in.
It can become an overwhelming thought as to how much influence as a parent I have on their mental and spiritual well-being.
With a history of a few serious mental health problems, it was only normal during the pregnancy to experience a little fear rising around the possibility of one, or all of the triplets being affected somehow as a result of my genetic make up.
Thankfully I had already reached a point of understanding of the cause , and therefore my symptoms. There was always a little doubt though that I may pass something on.
I don’t believe I was born with the majority of what I’ve been treated, and medicated for over the decades. Despite what I have been told by well meaning professionals. For example , for a long time I looked at my fathers depression as something that was passed on , by some kind of physiological brain wiring. It wasn’t. Depression itself is only a symptom.
I wasn’t born with an overwhelming compulsion to put alcohol in my system, as much as I wasn’t born with a personality disorder. As with my anxiety, paranoia and depression, I discovered they were all just symptoms of a single cause. Non of my symptoms were passed on biologically.
But there is something that is passed on through family lineages. From generation to generation, an unseen force causing many forms of physical and mental deterioration. And in order to understand the only way I could affect my children, I have to be aware of the instigator.
bitterness, frustration, hate, annoyance, envy, impatience, intolerance, jealousy through to fear, it is all the same thing from the same place. It is spiritual in nature and is at the heart of all symptoms like depression. It’s passed on through family’s and without a defence will continue to wreak havoc.
The problems really begin when resentment energy is suppressed.
You may have heard the saying ‘you could literally feel the tension’. Babies especially pick up on this unseen energy. If I’m agitated, my girls feel it. They can’t see it, but it’s there, and as real as light. It un-settles and upsets them. If I was to spend each day around them, responding negatively to stress. Eventually my anger would become theirs. They wouldn’t be able to escape it. I would set them on a destructive path.
Once on the road of suffering internal conflicts, it is incredibly hard to get off.
It is why medication fails to do anything much but create a false sense of wellness. Most people get worse under the surface. You cannot treat a spiritual problem with chemicals, no matter what the good doctor tells you. They only mask over what’s causing the damage. In order to recover from what is termed as depression, the cause needs to be met. Even talking cures rarely do anything to remove the problem, sure, talking is a good thing, it temporarily alleviates symptoms.
But if your heading towards a cliff in a car that you can’t stop, calling a therapist to discuss how it’s making you feel isn’t going to stop the car from going over. The car needs to be stopped. The cause needs to be addressed.
For example, an alcoholics real problem isn’t alcohol, drinking is a symptom. The cause of the compulsion to drink and inability to control the amount is driven by anger/resentment. As is the cause of all uncontrollable obsessive behaviours. They begin as distractions from the conflict of suppressing negative energy, it almost always begins at home. It is why the ability to forgive has to be discovered.
So if I am to give my children a chance at a healthy existence, free from damaging mental health issues. I have to keep a spirit of love in my home. It’s my job as Dad. That starts by being aware of my own temptation to respond with anger in stressful times. An over emotional parent will rock the stability of a child to damage point. I have a lifetime of vigilance ahead of me.
I will be watching my girls development closely over the coming years, as I believe the majority of their wellbeing will be in direct proportion to my own ability to remain conscious, and stay out of resentment. Patience, love and tolerance must be at the centre of my life.