love – Patience – Tolerance

Living in the sunlight of the spirit

Each morning, i get up and meditate. It’s  become a vital practice for myself and my family. When I began almost a decade ago It fast became apparent that I had discovered an incredible power that would not only free me from the shackles of my past, but direct my life towards improvement and spiritual wellness.

As a dad, it has brought me to a place where I am no longer affected by emotions to the point that they overwhelm me. It’s not a bad deal for a man with a history of serious mental health problems and a personality disorder. I don’t bite into anger with my children. I may raise my voice when I need to and discipline when they are playing up. But I have quietened the part of me that snaps and overeaacts. I also meditate before I go to sleep. That way, I’m not dragging the stresses of the day into the night.

Meditation and living in the present moment have also awarded me a way to build resilience to stress. There isn’t much that rattles me anymore. Event’s in the unpredictable stream of life are relatively easy to manage as I am no longer lost in my thoughts. When present, dealing with life consciously and with intuition has become the natural state. For the most, I have lost the temptation to struggle when in doubt. The next right thing to do becomes apparent – without any effort on my part. It’s an incredible way to live.

But it isn’t always easy. Because when we wake up out of the whirlpool of thoughts and emotions, we gain clarity. Which means we begin to see things as they really are. And the view isn’t always pretty. I became aware quickly of my shortcomings, my attachment to ego, and it’s need to control. Little behaviours and actions that were pretty questionable. Like how much my overthinking, anxiety, and anger were affecting others. I was grateful, though, despite the initial discomfort. Because I was shown what needed to go – what I needed to ‘watch’ for going forward.

Committing to meditation was about change. And I needed no life coach, councillor, guru, or therapist to begin to improve my life. It happened naturally. I was able to come off medications and step away from mental health teams. I stopped relying on others to provide the emotional support I felt I needed. I knew for the first time I could stand on my own two feet.

It is a continuous process of growth. Because there is always the temptation to resent the world around me and the people in it. So I remain ever watchful of my ego’s need to be in control. Separated from thoughts and the emotions that weave through them, I am protected from the monster in me. It’s has no grip on me as long as I remain awake – conscious. The more time spent in the present moment, the more I am a part of life.

I had never felt a stronger sense of purpose than from a simple act of stillness. It’s become my experience that gratitude is quiet. It’s knowing that I will be given the strength to deal with whatever may come. It’s an infill of grace, void of self. I’ve been a blessed man to have discovered the key to life and more so to be able to live it for others.

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