To give is real love

After I finally recovered from alcoholism and met Stacey and Frankie, I had a real conscious sense of purpose. Looking back at a life of drink, drugs, failed relationships, and absolute carnage, I knew my future had to look very different.

The purpose I felt was a responsibility to others.

Back in New Zealand, when I hit my first rock bottom and struggled to stay sober, being mentally and spiritually crushed by a self-imposed crisis. I one day met a woman in recovery who offered to show me a way out of alcoholism and insanity.

She took me into her home with her family and gave me every ounce of time because she didn’t want me to die an alcoholic death. She knew the solution and knew there was hope for me. She helped me recover over the following weeks and asked for nothing in return.

That woman showed me what unconditional love was for another human being – no matter how far they had fallen. She stressed the importance of putting others before myself in order to live well going forward. If I were to survive, I had to live with an altruistic spirit, loving others without expectation: simply because it was right to do so.

I never forgot the patience and love she offered to a broken, anger driven alcoholic. She saved my life through her own sacrifice. That was real love, I understood at depth the importance of the lesson I learned from her.

Years later, when I met my future wife. I knew the principles I had to take into that relationship. I had to be willing to give of myself. To put hers and Frankie’s needs before my own. By doing so, I discovered my purpose in life. To love others without conditions or expectations.

Being a father, first to Frankie, then the triplets, has become the most important role I will ever have in this lifetime. Being a support for my wife and leading my family with love patience and tolerance is my job now. It doesn’t mean I disregard myself. My well-being and growth are vital to being a strong, reliable, stable presence in their lives.

My sense of purpose is clear. And cemented further with each day as my children grow and our lives change with the seasons. And I will never forget the lesson I learned from that kind woman in Christchurch – New Zealand. In putting others first , we discover the true meaning of life.