I used to think the perfect life was one free of stress. That if I could organise life to suit me, with just the right people in my life and the right circumstances, and that if truly focused on those things I could manifest them. If I could have all that I would find true fulfilment. What absolute bollocks.
Life doesn’t work that way because until I gave up playing God I would always be living to my own expectations of perfection. And it would only fuel ongoing resentment because of the failings to get what I felt I deserved out of life.
I cannot sheild myself from stressful events, they are always coming. I cannot avoid people who cause me upet. Because everyone is flawed. And trying to manifest the Universe to work in my favour? Imaginine the size of ego that it takes to believe I had such power.
Until I first gave up anger and mastered resentment I would never find peace or fulfillment. Unless I learned to build resilience to stress through non contemplative meditation life would continue to batter me. Until I was willing to quit playing God and just live life awake and consciously, life would continue to be one of chance and fate. Wandering blind and grabbing anything that may improve my situation.
Once I stopped running the show, clawing at my little plans and designs my life became fulfilled. With love patience and tolerance at the centre I discovered everything I needed right in front of me. It was at my finger tips the whole time.