If you follow this blog or have read my book you will know that I am a recovered alcoholic. Which means I no longer have the mental obsession to drink or drug. I have been freed from my alcoholic syndrome and live a meaningful life.
Alcoholism is usually on my radar as I work with chronic alcoholics and show them the same path out which I, and millions of others have taken over the last 80 years. And if you are inflicted with obsessive drinking please reach out. I’m happy to help.
I have recently been looking at my past and what made me cross the line into chronic alcoholism. Before then I was a hard drinker with mental health problems such as borderline personality disorder. I was a self harmer and crashed around in unhealthy relationships. The only real stable relationship I had up until now was to my previous wife, but I walked out on her as my need to drink became paramount.
Alcohol consumed me and led me down a hellish path of suicide ideation and mental health disorders. My first shot at sobriety was when I was 30. I was living in New Zealand and contemplating suicide. I had lost everything worthwhile in life and didn’t understand why I couldn’t quit the booze. I was full of self hatred and was racked with guilt. It was then, by meeting other Alcoholics that I began to understand the cause of my obsessive behaviours around drink.
Resentment was at the core of my drinking which itself was just a set of two symptoms, a mental obsession and a physical craving beyond my control when I started to drink. I had to somehow master resentment. It was another six years before I would find permanent sobriety and freedom from anger and fear. In those six years I went back down the path of mental health teams and anti-psycotics. Mentally unstable and emotionally bankrupt before I discovered a solution.
Resentment is the number one offender when it comes to addiction. Anger suppressed, whatever the cause or justification fills us with a spirit of darkness. We begin to lose our way in life as we grow ever more selfish and self centred. We become subject to the monster. In the end it owns us and the only relif we get from it is by drinking alcohol or abusing drugs. Eventually we cross the line to the point that no human power can save us. The solution has to be bigger than us and metaphysical in nature. Only light can drive out darkness.
I look back at my destructive past without fear of ever returning. My story has become useful when I comes to dealing with others who are locked in the dark. It is my most valued possession. More-so because I also know the way out.
If you are struggling with drink or drugs I can help you by showing you the way out. There is also a free meditation practice that will help you overcome the darkness by becoming aware of the light. Nothing has improved my life more than non contemplative meditation. It has given me the basis of faith on which my recovery stands.
I am grateful for the life I have now, no longer plagued with resentment and fear and building resilience to stress I have found a way into the light. And this solution is available to anyone who is willing to commit to a life of spiritual growth and to live under the principles of love and patience. Here is the link for the free meditation. It really is a life changer.