The weight

It feels like a while since I wrote a positive post. Between CPS flare ups, slipped discs and now a stomach bug I’ve been feeling the weight lately. I’m run down, tired and feeling out of sorts.

The triplets have also been ill with bugs and bad chests. They have been up throughout the night so Stacey and me are both overtired and in need of rest. Dealing with three ill little girls is never easy. They can be hard enough to deal with when they are fit and healthy.

But we are through the worst of it. I returned to work this week thankfully. My back is getting stronger everyday. I will soon be back to just dealing with CPS pain. I still find it hard at times to compute that I will be in pain for the rest of my life. Some days I’m more accepting of it than others. Some day’s it brings me to tears but I can’t let it overwhelm me, I just deal with a day at a time.

On the plus side we are looking forward to our annual trip to Stacey’s parents house for Christmas. We have our decorations up which always brings a sense of comfort to our home. Since becoming a dad I love Christmas, the joy and excitement it fills the girls with is priceless. They will be writing their letters to Santa this weekend. There is a real buzz around our house now.

I must remember that Christmas is a time of forgiveness and I need to let go of the frustration and anger I feel towards myself at times. There is nothing wrong with self care if ultimately it benefits another and I need to take care of myself in order to take care of my family. I’m tired of feeling the weight of bad health now. It’s time to pick myself up and get back to life.