Reflection

I have been blessed to have two chances at life. My past holds no resemblance to the present. I don’t take mind altering drugs anymore and I have been sober for almost 8 years. I am no longer plagued with anger and fear and in my life of sobriety I have remarried and become a parent. Now instead of a heart starter drink in the morning I meditate in preparation for my day.

My past life wasn’t a bad one. I travelled a good chunk of the world and moved to Australia to start a new life. One that was cut short because of my drinking. But I made the most out of my situation. I loved drinking and loved Melbourne. I made some great freinds and enjoyed the lifestyle before it all went down the toilet and I got the boot.

My past life was hectic. My mental health was on a roundabout of deterioration. There were stays in police cells, detoxes and psychiatric wards. Pain was at the centre of my life. My anger driven by an abusive father and alcoholism. I had good luck on my side but things were never good for very long and drink and drugs were the only constant in my life. I sabotaged all that was good.

When I look back at my life compared to the one I have now it’s like looking at a different person. Like it’s the memories of someone else. A young man filled with resentment and fear who failed to commit to anything and hated the cards he had been dealt. Plauged with mental health problems and unable to forgive his father and himself. He was on a path of destruction that would end in suicide unless he found a new way to live.

Now, I am a peaceful man with purpose. A spirit of love replaced one of resentment and I found joy in giving of myself to make others lives easier. I now work with others who are lost in anger and destructive obsessions to show them also, that there is a way out.

As a husband and a father I practice patience and tolerance at home. I raise my family in the principles of love so that they can all grow in confidence, without fear. I want my daughters to begin life in a way that they will have no reason to seek out destructive behaviours as a way of coping.

I wouldn’t change my life for anything now. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not without It’s challenges but in finding a new way to live I discovered myself. In faith I no longer run on anger. And that’s a good deal for everyone.