This year on the 4th of July, Ava Lacey and Blakely will be 4 years old. It feels like only yesterday I was sleep deprived and struggling to adapt to new fatherhood.
In that time I have made mistakes, questioned my sanity and also got a lot of it right. It has been as much a journey of self discovery as it has one of parenting. My patience has been tested as I found my way to being a father and I only have to look at the confidence in my daughters to know I’ve done okay up to this point.
It’s been the toughest challenge of my life to date. And if you know my history that’s saying something! Becoming a dad has also brought new challenges within my marriage. Our life was turned upside-down with the pregnancy and the arrival of our girls. Our relationship changed as a result. We were forced into dealing with a highly stressful situation together. We lost our freedoms and had to find a way to work as a team.
With all this change came the temptation to resent the cards I had been dealt with. But I kept afloat with meditation which in turn gave me the faith and clarity to step into my new role with confidence.
I followed my intuition and stayed focused on the job at hand.
It was frightening at times to have so much responsibility under my roof. Becoming a father has been all consuming. It’s left little time for anything else, the commitment to living by the spiritual principles of love and tolerance has got me through. My faith has allowed me to overcome my fears and be a loving father and also helped me deal with the new pressures that affected my marriage.
I have to have the willingness to adapt to the constant challenges that arise as my daughters grow and develop. It’s crazy how fast the time has gone bye. I often worry I haven’t done enough, I think that’s normal for any new parent but I don’t wallow in doubt. I made the decision to step up to the plate of fatherhood from the day of the positive pregnancy test. I now have a family who rely on my emotional stability and strength. I owe them that.
I love my family and love fatherhood. It has been the making of me in so man ways. I have been given a massive responsibility in becoming a dad and it’s my number one priority to be the man my family needs.