love – Patience – Tolerance

Accepting the here and now

Living in the present moment can be difficult. Especially if we are facing a problem that is hard to accept.

We may be dealing with rocky personal relationships, financial difficulties, disabilities or any number of stressful events that keep our minds racing and cause us to distract from the internal pressures these life events bring.

When I was active in alcoholism I was constantly seeking relief from the stress of daily life. I was unable to mentally deal with my problems so my solution was to always hit the bottle. It was my way of coping. And it worked. The problem was that my obsessive need to seek relief from my inner conflicts was incredibly destructive. For me and those around me.

In getting sober the first time around I was forced to to learn to live with the problems life threw at me. I quickly found other unhealthy distractions that kept me out of dealing with the here and now. Porn addiction for one, I also sought out unhealthy relationships that were nothing but ways to keep my ego fed as I tried to survive daily life.

Feel good distractions kept me temporarily sober but did me no good. I always ended up back at the bottle, wracked with guilt and resentment at my inability to cope with life.

When I eventually found permanent sobriety I also discovered non contemplative meditation. And in doing so I found a way to sit still, to practice living in the present moment, free from anger and fear. It was sometimes a difficult practice. My ego still tried to convince me that meditation was a waist of time, that there were other ways to feel better without getting better. I became aware of the destructive nature I had within me and became willing to be freed from it.

I stuck with the meditation despite the constant internal pull away from it. I have now been practicing it daily for over 7 years and what I have discovered is that the present moment is a life changing metaphysical plane of existence. Where acceptance of the pressure’s of life is possible, without fearing them or running from them.

Through separating from the whirlpool of negative thinking I have been placed in a position to observe what passes through my mind and can remain unaffected by it. Therefore there is no internal conflict to seek relief from which isn’t easy sometimes with chronic pain.

Acceptance isn’t approval. Much of what life has thrown at me, from triplets to chronic pain have been stressful events that have almost pulled me under at times. But I have learned to sit with the discomfort and pressure I have felt. I no longer run away or seek to distract. I face life on life’s terms and in doing so I am less inclined to resent or fear my situation.


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