I read an article this week suggesting that it’s healthy for a couple to argue. That releasing negative emotions on each other is some how beneficial to a relationship and one’s self. Sounds to me like an excuse for those with no other way to communicate their issues.
So I’d like to call BS on that. Nothing is more destructive than anger. Whether it’s petty annoyances that are griping on you or bigger resentments that keep cropping up, to shout and ball at each other is no way to deal with het up anger. It may feel good to unleash judgement on your partner but it doesn’t really solve anything. Anger continues to bubble under the surface.
Children especially need to grow up in an environment that is free from stress and external pressures. A child learns from their environment, so to grow up believing that shouting and arguing is normal and healthy is damaging. Sure, we all get short fused at times raising kids, there are times that anger gets passed us. But to have anger and judgement as a normal way to alleviate stress is just insane.
Anger is anything but a normal healthy emotion. It is a destructive force that only creates chaos and more problems within a family unit. Jealousy, bitterness, fear even the small annoyances are all forms of anger/resentment. The destructive emotional responses wound out of negative thoughts do nothing to benefit an individual who is in a stressful situation.
There is a better way to live and to grow emotionally. But it takes a leap of faith into the unknown by way of non contemplative meditation. To parent and raise a family consciously takes a commitment to do so. This meditation is a way to step back from anger as it rises, no matter who pisses you off or how justified you feel to respond.
Meditation for years has given men and women a new way to cope with stress and deal with life. This exercise in particular is a game changer when it comes to overcoming resentment and fear. Even the emotional damage of past traumas dissolve in the present moment, Simply by being consciously aware of ourselves. It creates a protection. Once the body is full of light, darkness is driven out. Be aware that it is a spiritual solution so keep an open mind going into it.
I will leave the link here to the free exercise. If you feel like you are at a point where you know you need to change the way you deal with your emotions, but are unsure how. This exersise will be just what you are looking for.
Replace anger with the principles of love and tolerance and your family relationships will never be the same. Talking through problems becomes natural, no shouting required.