Over the last few years I have slowly adapted to chronic pain levels that most people will never experience. It has changed my life and altered the way my brain operates. I have also had a diagnosis of a functional cognitive disorder as a result of living with constant pain.
I was once mentally sharp, medication free and physically fit. I had no problems working a physical job or doing everyday things like taking the triplets for a walk in their pushchair. Cooking and doing odd jobs around the house.
It’s hard to comprehend living in pain. On the outside I look quite normal apart from the hobble in my walk. I have had to adjust my life to balance with the monster. I have had to pull back from most of what I once did. Including work and in my home life.
My memory has improved over the last 6 months which is a real positive considering the pain is partly centred in my head. Much of this is down to regaining my mental state which took a dive bomb as I struggled in the beginning to adjust. It took a couple of years before I overcame the resentment and fear surrounding my condition.
Through non contemplative meditation I was able to get free from the anger and frustration I felt towards myself. Central pain syndrome also affected my relationship with Stacey. It brought fierce resentment on both sides that if held on to would have damaged our marriage.
The key part of my recovery has been to stay out of negative thinking. And my head has been battered by it through all the stress and anxiety. And nothing ramps up pain more than stress.
There is a way to pull back from the stream of thought and allow the practitioner to be able to observe what passes through the mind and remain unaffected. Non contemplative meditation is a way to do this. It’s my experience that without the barrage of negative thinking my pain has been much easier to manage.
I pass this on as it was once passed on to me. If overthinking and negativity are plaguing your life, this is a free and simple solution.
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