Whilst out for a drive, Stacey and I got talking about the pregnancy. If you have read my book you will know how stressful it was. From not knowing how many heartbeats we’d find at each scan to the huge strain on Stacey’s body. It was a tough ride.
It’s a hard thing to imagine becoming a multiple parent. As my first biological children I had no idea what I was facing. But I was brimming with excitement under the surface. The exact opposite to what Stacey was going through.
It was bizzare how far apart we went from each other from the day we discovered 3 heartbeats. Stacey into deppresion and anxiety, and me just wanting to shout it from the rooftops.
I had to keep my cool and stay grounded, and nothing grounded me more than our doctor in Bristol who laid out the dangers of our type of pregnancy. We were up against it and looking at a high risk few months.
It was my job as an expectant father to remain solid for my wife and unborn babies. Even Frankie went on her own emotional rollercoaster at the prospect of 3 siblings. My wife was going through the emotional wringer. A show of my consistency was greater than any promises I could make.
I stayed quietly positive and did all I could to bond with the babies and calm my wife’s fears. Of course I had my concerns but there would be a time and a place to share them. For the duration of the pregnancy I did what needed to be done from all the cooking to the housework as Stacey ended up bedridden with the sheer mass she was carrying.
It was the most emotional few months of my life, and that’s saying something. I prayed every night that our girls would survive. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy adapting to life with 3 newborns but I was as mentally prepared as possible.
Thankfully the trio arrived all screaming and healthy. We are blessed for this and know it. Once the babies were born Stacey fell naturally into her role and I went mentally downhill for a while. The stress and tiredness overwhelmed me at times.
It’s no secret that stress can cause massive complications to a pregnancy. If there is one bit of advice I could give to an expectant dad it would be to practice patience and tolerance. There are times you will be carrying all the weight. Times you get things thrown at you because you bought the wrong ice cream. You will be constantly reminded that her suffering is all your fault but let it slide off you. Nothing is personal even if it is.
Our triplets will be 4 this coming july. And we are facing constant challenges as their personalities develop. Triplets are hard going. Exhausting and all consuming. But with the right mindset as a dad those things don’t really matter. Because you have become a multiple dad. Your a chosen one and for the love you will get from your children. Nothing beats it.