Living with a chronic pain condition is draining, it mentally and physically takes it’s toll yet I have learned to function with pain levels most people will never experience.

When i was newly diagnosed it became clear that I was going to have to mentally manage my condition and that it was down to me to do it. As much information I read about my condition the one sure thing was that it was going no where. I had to somehow get on top of it.

2020 was a particularly difficult year as far as my pain went. It was for the most in control of me. I hit deppresion and got swamped in self pity from becoming overwhelmed by the pain. I was also exhausted, suffering from undiagnosed sleep apnea.

By the end of the year I had made changes to better manage my condition. For one I learned to not talk about it constantly. My wife knew I was suffering and didn’t need reminding all of the time. And it wasn’t doing me much good talking about it every day. It just kept me stuck in the negativity.

I changed my diet, began taking vitamins and along with meditation began to step back from the negativity in myself. I slowly managed to get on top of it for what felt like the first time in a long time. I also managed to get my medication levels where the positives in turning the pain down outweighed the negative side effects.

The result is a better attitude towards my pain and to life. I try not to get too complacent when I’m I’m experiencing lower pain levels. I was in the habit of pushing myself too hard when I felt better, always to have a worse flare up. Treatment for the sleep apnea is also helping me to turn down the pain.

My new bedtime look. Think it will catch on?

So I’m doing well at the moment. I still have chronic nerve pain in my back and hips. I still suffer electrical pain in my head and face but it’s turned down to manageable levels. I am slowly learning now to live with it without the crippling resentment and fear.

It is what it is and I will continue to find new ways to cope more positively with it. The monster had me for a while but I refuse to be beaten by it.

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