During the pregnancy I googled a mass of books looking for information on fatherhood and what lay ahead. I once came across a book titled ‘Toddlers are assholes: it’s not your fault’.
I was a few years away from the toddler stage at that point and still inexperienced and wet behind the ears when it came to parenthood.
When I first came across that title I was a little horrified. Surely calling your toddler an asshole is a little rough. After all, children are gifts we are entrusted with and are we not responsible for their growth and learned behaviours growing up.
I looked upon that book with judgement, especially the author who surely must have done something wrong along the way to cause their toddlers to get pinned with such an offensive description.
Now being in the terrible threes I I again came across that book while browsing relevant parenting titles and it got me thinking once again.
Our triplets have their moments of love and kindness. They hug, kiss and play together without argument, just not very often. But for the most of it they argue, fight and taunt each other into violent retaliation.
They certainly haven’t learned this physical behaviour from us. Nor have they picked up from us how to annoy each other and scream and shout to the point of hysteria. They just do it.
Maybe I was a little to much in judgement when I first came across that book. There was no way toddlers could be this irrational, physical or angry? But now I in the middle of separating punch ups and hair pulling I think I was too hasty to write that book and it’s author off. The girls test our patience constantly.
If you were to ask me now if all toddlers are assholes, my reply would be –
‘hmm, perhaps just a little bit.