On the ever spinning roundabout of fatherhood it can be easy to question myself in as far as being a dad goes.
We are taking a break with family at the moment, a welcomed trip away from our little house that has been our lockdown centre. I’ve been needing this break after feeling run down a little from the relentless routine at home.
When I’m not running on all cylinders, negativity has a way of creeping in. I begin to question myself as a dad. How I’m doing and more importantly how can I improve.
The triplets are at a full on, energetic stage in their lives. They demand constant attention which can be draining as we do our best to keep patience and tolerance at the centre of our home. I find myself teetering on depression. Partly from the pain and partly out of sheer exhaustion and being locked in a situation where my presence is needed 100%.
There are times I feel deflated in the evenings, emptied by the knowledge that tomorrow will be the same routine. I do my best to stay out of resentment, I cannot change the situation I’m, only roll with it in the hope i am doing enough as a dad to raise them in a way that will benefit them.
This post my seem like a bit of a whinge, and perhaps it is. In all honesty I struggle sometimes to stay afloat. But I will, because as exhausting as it is I have a job to do and my family need me.
The reality of being a multiple parent is just heavy going at times.