There is so much going on in the world, it can be difficult to not get drawn into the drama and dragged into the emotional pulls of fear and resentment.
Living with chronic pain is no different. It is all too easy to get drawn into depressive thinking and self pity. I find myself constantly vigilant of the negative thinking that crops up unannounced and has the ability to pull me in and ruin my day.
If there is one thing I have learned over the last couple of years of living with cps, it is that acceptance is a saviour of my mental wellbeing in the times I struggle the most
Acceptance is not approval. It’s important to understand this. I don’t approve of the negativity that rises in me from time to time. But I can accept it’s there without getting dragged into a mental conflict. I am now able to just see what goes on within me with out judgement. Acceptance has the key to freedom in that sense. It makes it an incredibly powerful thing.
Most of my problems since chronic pain began have been caused by my reluctance to accept my situation. I resented the pain and began to resent my life as a result. When anger/resentment gets in it upsets the balance of wellbeing and blinds any purpose I have. All I feel is self pity and frustration. And when lost in those emotions my pain dials up. Stress is a massive factor of Central pain syndrome.
It has taken me a long time to find acceptance with my condition. I have resented it and had fear towards the future and how affected I will be in ten years time.
Depression occurs when resentment is turned inwards. It is a symptom of a lack of acceptance, when resentment has taken hold of my life and I succumb to its negative pull. Only meditation can return me to a place of consciousness. Where I can find acceptance and let go of my frustrations and fears.
I only ever need to live the present moment. Free from the resentments of the past and present and future fears.
I don’t approve of the pain I experience. Nor do I approve of the affects CPS has on my daily life. But i accept it is there, and that at times the monster is bigger than me. And in that acceptance I find peace from giving up the mental struggle.
Here is a link to a free meditation that has helped me more than anything.