There are moments I am overwhelmed with love and feel like the proudest man on earth. And days I just smell like baby poo and never get dressed, counting the hours until the triplets bedtime. Fatherhood is a mixed bag in that sense.
Gone are the days of regular romantic evening dates and weekends away. Becoming a triplet dad has absorbed any freedom, or free time. At least as we used to have it. Now a trip to the shop takes military timing and precision. We find ourselves timing trips around predicted bowl movements, toddler tiredness and tantrums.
It would be all too easy to see our lives from the outside as a kid filled nightmare, some do. I still get the occasional messages of condolence from other dads, with the attitude of ‘rather you than me mate’, when they realise we have three of them in-tow. And as rude as they can be I can still understand their sentiments to a degree.
I have written a lot over the last couple of years about the importance of dealing with stress. And at times I get overwhelmed by stress. More so from having to parent with a chronic pain condition than being a triplet dad. I’m not a perfect human being. I’m just a normal guy in the trenches of multiple fatherhood. And it still gets tough, draining and overwhelming at times. But I work hard to be the best I can be for them, as much as myself.
There is always the reality of my situation that Keeps me grounded above all else. I have been given a job to do. And it’s my job to man up and deal with it. I don’t resent the losses of freedom. Life has just changed. A bit like from driving a sports car, to driving a double decker bus that’s on fire and has no breaks.
Frankie is also going through changes, bringing new aspects of parenting that I feel ill equipped for, and for which I am not quite sure how to handle yet. All I can do is to remain patient and do my best to understand her as she steals her mums make up, and brings me concerns I never had with her before.
And as for the triplets. Insanity is prevailing. Tantrums because we can’t go to the moon tomorrow and Blakely having a fit because she can’t wear her slippers in the bath are now normal everyday occurrences under our roof. They really don’t understand us – and I sure as shit don’t understand them much either at the moment.
But it makes for top entertainment. And the love and the cuddles in between the hoo-haas and gang activity. That’s what takes me beyond any fears, worries or real concerns about any of my daughters wellbeing. Because they are raised in love. And have been nurtured to understand its importance in life.
People rarely see beyond what chaos and pressures we must be going through as a couple and as a family. Stacey has a great sense of humour, we both have the ability to laugh in the toughest of times. And we deal with our situation well as a result of consciously rising above the madness that is our life now.
It may seem like we have nothing outside of our home. Stacey keeps the triplets busy with exersise groups and little outings while I’m at work in the mornings. And apart from the occasional gig I really have nothing else.
But what I do have is a the most fulfilling job any man could be blessed with. I’m a dad. And all that I need is right in front of me. Shouting at me because I can’t drive them to the sea-side at 8 o’clock at night when they’re in bed and should be sleeping.