love – Patience – Tolerance

A reflection

There are some big changes happening at the moment. Namely Frankie starting high school and the triplets beginning pre school this week, t-shirts with names on are ordered to save any confusion with the teachers and staff.

Looking back over the last year is a strange view. There were unforeseen changes that have rocked us as a family, and difficulties I have struggled to come to terms with. But we have pulled through none the less.

There seems to be some light shinning at the end of the tunnel as I’ve finally found some acceptance around my health condition. I have plans to return to work to a less stressful role with less responsibility. Only working three morning’s a week to allow myself a chance to rest. The less my nervous system has to physically deal with the lesser the chances of pain flare ups.

My case has also been accepted by a specialist neurological unit in Bristol which should give me a more solid understanding of what I’m dealing with. Central pain syndrome is a permanent condition with no cure. Knowing this information has been the cause of much of my frustration and bouts of depression over the last month’s. As a man whose main priority is providing for, and taking care of my family, it’s my pride that has suffered the most in that respect.

It has been an eventful summer. We had time away with the triplets staying with Stacey’s family. A much-needed break away from the relentless routine at home. We’ve made the most of our little garden and the paddling pool. Little things that the girl’s love that keep them happy and entertained.

We have watched the girl’s grow and develop so much over the last month’s. Three very different personalities finding their place at home and continuing to thrive in a home of love and patience. It’s strange to think they will be starting school this week. Our hope is that their speech will improve with being around other children. It’s going to be fascinating to watch how they interact with others.

As much as circumstances have changed for us we have kept a constant at home between my wife and myself. And that is that we both practice conscious awareness as a way of life. We both meditate to stay awake to the pressures and stresses that crop up along the road. It has kept us afloat and more importantly kept friction to a minimum where there has been so much temptation to get lost in fear around the changes.

I also managed to get my book finished and published as you may already know. A personal story of my journey into fatherhood from a life of alcoholism and self-destruction. Written to benefit others more than anything else. If you are interested getting a copy it’s available now on Amazon

As we move into Autumn I’m feeling more optimistic than I have in a while. And as difficult a year it’s been, at the centre of it all we are doing well as a family. And to me that’s all that really matters.

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