love – Patience – Tolerance

The band

The weekend before the trio arrived I played my last gig with my band.

I had my phone on the floor monitor throughout the gig, with a keen eye on it, just incase of an early emergency at home. Thankfully the babies waited till the due date and the show went as planned.

As a new dad I was not sure if I would be able to carry on with my only pastime. I did a gig when the babies were around three months old, but as a singer it was exhausting. Sleep deprived and with no energy it wasn’t enjoyable. It took me days to recover and I decided It had to come to an end.

The day I was going to call my drummer and give him the sad news my wife intervened.

She told me to wait. Not to quit and that things at home would become easier as the month’s went by. I was still unsure if it would ever be possible to balance a band, with full time work and triplets at home.

I took her advice and didn’t quit, and thing’s did get a little easier as predicted. The band continued after a few month’s break. I have even been able to begin rehearsals for a one off show with some other musicians in August.

It is my only outlet. I don’t drink or have a social life. But I love to play music, and my wife knew this when she met me. She loves that I have a passion, and that she gets a night to herself a couple of nights a month.

We have just began gigging again for the year after a five month break and it is tiring, a small price to pay though for doing something I love so much.

I’m glad my wife talked me out of leaving the band. And that life in early fatherhood did change. It would have been a decision I would have regretted. Because even parents need to keep on doing what they love.

Having children doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

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