A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about the difficulty of going out with the triplets without the constant attention. It got a big response which just highlights the problem of boundaries when it comes to babies.
Following the hassle and attention they got at a mother and toddler group recently we now have three traumatized little one’s who panic the moment anyone comes near them. To the point now that they even get upset when a known face comes into the house.
It’s a shame as we thought they had gotten over the attention when we are out. But they have taken a back step which has made it incredibly difficult for my wife to get out in the week with them. They don’t like stranger’s. Full stop.
Imagine being a little baby still finding confidence in new environments and having strange faces getting up close and personal every 5 minutes. If they are not mum or dad they get scared. Imagine strange hands trying to pick you up when already upset by a barrage of strangers standing in front of you and staring.
I’m a first time parent to babies, still I would never think to try and take a strangers baby out of it’s high chair because it was crying to try and pacify it. It wouldn’t cross my mind, yet people are offended when we ask them not to touch them or try and pick them up as it only upset’s them further.
We have no problem pushing hands away that want to touch them. We have no idea of another’s personal hygiene, hands carry viruses and germs that we are left to deal with. And dealing with three sick babies are no joke.
Yes they are remarkable, as they are cute but they are also little human beings with fears and needs of security. Especially when out in the world.
We have had endless suggestions to just get them out into groups to socialize, and get on with it, but it has become a real challenge. Unless you are dealing with triplets day in and day out it’s difficult to be able to comprehend the attention and work involved. And to understand the effects and upsets that we later have to deal with from a disastrous trip to the shops.
Toddler’s need boundaries and respect. They are finding their feet and need to feel comfortable in new situations and places were they can feel free to relax and take their surroundings in on their terms. You wouldn’t treat any other vulnerable human the same way. And if you do you need to consider the knock on effect of your actions.
For now we are back at square one, with a lot of work to do to get them gaining trust again around anyone that isn’t us.