love – Patience – Tolerance

We don’t mean to be rude…

It became apparent to us as parents of triplets, from the first time we ventured out of the house with them that we were going to attract a lot of attention.

And understandably. There are times I remember being out with them in the supermarket on my own and being surrounded in the isle, unable to move, blocked by cooing onlookers, whilst the babies cried and got upset with people staring at the them, and with all the hands reaching down to squeeze their cheeks, If I was a baby it would probably upset me too.

It becomes difficult at times. Especially when the girls are tired, and we’re tired and we are just trying to get a shop done as fast as possible so we can get them back home to nap.

There have been situations when we are feeding them in a cafe or restaurant and we have had strangers come over to our table and ask questions while we have mouths full of food and the babies are eating.

Although the babies have got somewhat used to being stared at and approached by people they don’t know they can still get upset by it, especially when they are tired. And neither my wife and I have mastered having a conversation with a mouthful of sandwich, which can also make things awkward.

The problem is that sometimes we have to explain to people that the babies can be upset by strangers getting in their faces and touching them. We have people look at us like were being rude and walk off at being asked by us to stop. It happens a lot. It can ruin a trip out for us when the attention doesn’t stop and were just trying to have a meal or take care of our children.

Getting out is difficult enough, more-so alone with them which my wife has to when I’m at work, so the added stress of having to deal with trying not to offend strangers who want to pick up the babies from their high chairs to pacify them while my wife is feeding them can ruin her day.

So maybe if you see a mum out with tired babies, and you want to get involved. Think about the mum who is dealing with a stressful situation, perhaps instead of walking over to ask her a handful of questions over the top of tired upset babies, ask her if she want’s a cup of tea. Ask her if there is anything she needs.

We don’t like to have to ask people not to touch our babies, we don’t like to ask people not to try to pick them up while they are eating and get in their faces. And it’s not nice to be made to feel like we’re horrible people for asking this.

It’s nice that they bring so much happiness to others, and we’re happy to answer questions but a bit of common sense, consideration and timing doesn’t go a miss.

Have you had experience with this as a parent?

9 responses to “We don’t mean to be rude…”

  1. i Genuinely had one lady come over while I was on my own at a cash point with the twins and start asking me questions and trying to put her hands in the pushchair. Yes they are cute but I’m at a CASHPOINT and you are making me very uncomfortable 😬 one of my boys in particular doesn’t like strangers in his space and sometimes that can result in comments about him being a “grumpy” or “tired” baby. You and Stacey are a daily inspiration to me especially when I’m having a tough day And I need reminding that it IS possible and if Stacey can ace it with 3 then I can handle 2, Thankyou for this blog it is always the best thing to read over a (3 times nuked) cup of tea 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jody for the kind words. I’m glad you enjoy the blog 🙂


  2. Only identical twins here and we are SO used to that. It would even outrage me with a singleton. I mean, what nerve do people have to touch a stranger in their face (no matter hope old), let alone trying to hold them? (That hasn’t happened to us fortunately; I am a pretty content guy, but if anybody dared to do this, I would loose my temper…) Also, the idea to answer anybody’s questions and be open for a talk to strangers in whatever situation… It does happen to us, but thank god not so often. I have no issues talking to strangers, but at times I just want to do groceries or get stuff done, and that doesn’t go well with a chat every five minutes…
    We ain’t no zoo…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 👏👏💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh yes! Are there three of them? Are they all yours? Are they…… triplets? They’re not, are they?
    Are they identical? (One is obviously a boy) Are they natural?

    At least what you won’t be getting is” are you their grandmother?”.

    Much love xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes. Normally positive and lovely things from nice people. But….. We were having lunch with our twin boys who were about 4 months at the time. I was feeding one while my husband ate his lunch. The other one was in the pushchair with the hood up. A lady next to me asked how old the baby was, “4 months” I said. “And how old is the one in the pushchair?” “Also 4 months, they’re twins” At this point she pulled a face like she was eating rotten food and said “Eeuurgghh, twins, how do you cope??” !!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Stacey had a woman in the supermarket tell her that she’s kill herself if she found out she was having triplets. Some poeple are without a filter. Most comments are nice, but some are far too personal and rude


  6. Yes! Triplet momma here. The question are way to personal from how I conceived, to breast feeding to just plain mind blowing. “Are they triplets? Yes. “Are they all yours?…… Um y..e..s…? I was followed to my car by a man who was yelling personal conception questions at a Walmart check out, to cashiers down from me. He was determined to somehow prove my babies where not spontaneous and publicly argued that (according to his small mind) I had “done something unnatural” to have them. I left in tears and then in fear of our safety. My groceries regularly defrost before I can get out of the store and people watch and stare as I struggle to get doors open. There are the very few positive comments and kind understanding people out there… but we need more!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for leaving a comment, and a big high 5 to another legend of a triplet momma!
      Are the are they natural? is usually one of the first questions, hinting that if they are ivf it’s our own fault, like we must living in somekind of self made nightmare. Our girls were not, and telling strangers they were spontaneous can shock them from opening their mouths any further. I find it odd that people have think they have the right to be so personal with a stranger. There have been many times my wife has been told having triplets is a worst nightmare. It may be for them. I think the the fear mongering and negative comments are just a reflection of others bitterness and fear around their own parenting experiences. It’s just a shame they feel the need to project.
      I would’t change our situation for the world, as hard as it is at times we have been graced beyond words


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