Children are front row observers of us as parents. What they see and feel from us is transferred to them and reflects in their own spirit and the behaviours they develop.
If I was to live in a permanent state of emotional Instability, whether it be anger, agitation, impatience, anxiety or simply overreacting to stressful events in life, it is my children who will ultimately collect the spiritual debris of my failing to meet those pressures.
And as I have recently discovered with my health, I cannot afford to let the inevitable problems that will arise from time to time take over my awareness of dealing with what’s in front of me and the responsibilities I have.
When I left home I left a fragmented and stressful environment. My dad’s morphine addiction and drinking had reached dangerous proportions. I was 15 years old and it was inevitable that his over emotional nature would affect all of us as a family. Neither my mum, brother or myself left that home unscathed.
My dad’s anger became mine. His spiritual dysfunction was transferred to me. I grew up hating him because he was angry and emotionally unavailable. I became as unbalanced and unhinged as he was, and I would never know freedom or recovery from mental health symptoms until I forgave him. Until I gave up anger.
It’s important to me that I don’t make the same mistakes being a parent myself now. My children deserve the best beginning in life, and I see this with a clarity.
I believe is my job as a dad. Not just to provide for them, but to be present and raise them in a spirit of love. With emotional consistency so that the stability I project will reflect In the confidence they deserve to develop while they find their way in their formative years.