My wife was out with the trio yesterday and bumped into another Mum with twins. They got talking and the conversation turned to the unwanted comments that are unavoidable and create doubt. I remember well this time last year struggling with sleep deprivation and being told constantly by other parents that it was only going to get harder, Gee thanks!
Having being blasted into parenthood with three newborns, and also being in the place we are now with them. I would like to tell you a secret you may not know if you are a new parent adjusting to life with one, two, three, four or even five babies demanding your every moments care and attention.
It gets easier. Because you will adjust and get stronger.
I know I tend to write concerning the more trying aspects of coping with the pressures of life with multiples. Because I believe it is where I can be of most use to others with the life experience I have in dealing with stress. But I also want to let you know that if you are sat in the dark with a relentless routine that there is hope, and that life will improve. There were many fears and doubts rising in the early days that looking back were nothing to be concerned about.
Our house is still too small, yet we have made it work for us. We have had to both overcome dealing with the pressures we face together as a couple. Yet we have found a way. We both still struggle with tiredness when the babies are ill. But now it’s easier to deal with as we know from experience it isn’t permanent and the fun times will return shortly and teething hasn’t been the nightmare many folks liked to scare me with. And as the babies grow and develop together they are definitely fun to be around as they entertain themselves.
Some days can feel like an uphill struggle, especially for my wife while I’m at work but she now deals with home life consciously. She is an amazing woman for all she gives to this family. I still take over when I’m home each day and at the weekends, it’s my duty and I love my time with the trio. It is not a chore that I resent in any way.
I’ve discovered that the only thing that can cause doubt about what’s in front of me are the fears and doubts that crop up within myself. Not those from other people. Only a father of triplets can relate to my situation. No one else has any authority to comment, so now it’s easy to brush off the remarks that are made seemingly only to fear monger, Folks tend to comments from their own experiences. Which may have left them bitter about parenthood. So forgive them. Or simply return a ridiculous comment as my wife has now become the master of.
And remember what you have achieved to bring life into this world has granted you super-power status. If you are dealing with multiples it’s because something in this universe believes you have what it takes to do it. You are a chosen one. So have faith in that knowledge and faith in your intuition as a parent. because no amount of silly comments can take that away from you.