When I lived alone, each morning I used to wake up with that relentless voice. as soon as my brain kicked into gear it began supplying me with negative thoughts.
“Why do you have to get up so early? there’s too much to do today, and if you forget to pay that bill you’ll be more stressed than you are now, in fact you’ll probably go to jail. And how are you going to cope in jail? you’re going to have to sharpen up on your fighting skills, you’re not as young and fit as you used to be. But there’s always going to be that one guy who’s bigger and faster than you. And while you’re in there – getting your ass handed to you on a plate, your flat will get repossessed, along with your guitars. Then your really screwed. And what about work today?, you got a full day ahead of you with no time to pay bills. And i noticed your front near side tire was looking a bit flat last night so it’s probably completely flat this morning. And you havent got a spare. So how are you going to get to work? imagine what your boss is going to say if you let the guys down today of all days! and if you can’t work how are going to pay for that tire?. I bet you didn’t get sugar either. Oh man! coffee without sugar. And did you see the way that guy in the local shop looked at you yesterday, he probably wants to rob you…………”
And then I would begrudgingly drag myself out of bed, already stressed, agitated, fearful and wound up before I even left the bedroom. And that was my everyday morning. It’s no wonder I drank so much!
Living with over thinking is hard work. It’s a constant battle with doubt and fear. And the harder I struggled with it, the worse it got. When I got sober the thinking got louder and continued to batter my mind. Only it really sucked, because I couldn’t drink to quiet it. Instead life became one of constant distraction from my own head.
When I met my wife I had found a little peace with it, but still it amplified with the stresses of life. What became clear was that my thinking was a problem. I was lucky enough to meet a man who showed me a way to live unaffected by my thoughts. Through a unique meditation I was able to separate from the negativity in my head and simply observe it. The only way I can give any power to my thinking, is when I get lost in it.
Anyone who lives with symptoms such as anxiety or depression will relate to a noisy negative mind. It pulled me daily into a self-absorbed existence of which it felt there was no escape. Most of the stress in my life originates from within, non of its real. And when I did meet a problem in the stream of life it just reinforced my negative thinking. it would smugly announce “see, told you that would probably happen”.
I can’t imagine how I would be able to parent, and raise a family without meditation. Dealing with stress begin’s with observing the pull of my own internal conflicts. If I am free from the constraints of my over thinking mind I am left only with a natural, silent intuition. A natural guidance system that allows me to effortlessly deal with what’s in front of me without being overwhelmed. Life becomes peaceful as a result.
Here is a link to the meditation exercise. It’s free, incredibly powerful and life changing.
I hope you find use of this, if not now maybe at another time. But believe me, life will never be the same again.