Becoming a Parent has been life-changing beyond explanation. New perspectives shine with clarity, and priorities shift to meet a new purpose. There are also concerns for any expecting parents that arise concerning the world they are brought into. It is a mine field of corruption, dishonesty and temptation. It is also one of immense beauty, truth & light.
A path of love, courage, tolerance and virtue is one I hope my girls remain on. It is my role as their father to show them how to stay on that path. I hope from the many mistakes I have made in my life, I have at least something valuable to pass on. As It is those mistakes and failures as a human, once driven by resentment and a selfish spirit, that brought me crashing to a need to become a better man. Failure can become a great teacher in the absence of pride. With rock bottom came my personal opportunity to begin to learn.
It would be easy to make excuses for myself and my failings, rather than be willing to grow from them. Nor would it be much use to beat myself up continually for my mistakes. Resentment is just as bad when turned on oneself, it’s a trap that many never escape from. No one is perfect, but being entrusted as a father to four children and as a husband, there is much more of a need to move towards that ideal.
It’s a given that I will/do get things wrong.
There is much as a parent that I can do to contribute to my children’s foundation, that will be the difference between them struggling through life, and effortlessly evolving with confidence, without being affected by the harsh realities of the world around them.
I work hard to provide for them, to have a roof over our head, clothes to wear, and food on the table are needs my family require that must be provided by me. These are the basics. I want for them to have a good start in life. There are skills and knowledge we will pass on that will help them find their way in the world. There are also other financial commitments I will have to meet further down the road that will help them along.
But there is one thing that I can do that I believe is the greatest gift any Man can give his children. To show them how to forgive. To not resent the darkness in the world, or the mistakes and wrongs of others, or they themselves will make along the way.
I will show them a way to let go of anger. Whether it’s towards another or themselves.
With the ability to let go comes a freedom. Without harbouring anger and it’s debilitating mental and physical symptoms, a human is free to thrive, unaffected by the stresses of the world. I want my children to have this opportunity.
I have a job to one day prepare them for life beyond the comforts of a protective home. I can think of nothing more important to the wellbeing of themselves and their future than the ability to live free from the crippling effects of resentment. Life is stressful, it’s unavoidable.
It is a natural gift I lived without for decades, my inability to meet stress without it overwhelming me became the cause of all my problems. My Father was never shown, or his path would have been different. My path in turn would have been different. I eventually had to forgive him. It wasn’t his fault. People who are overwhelmed with life and the problems they encounter stop being themselves, they do and say things from a place of fear.
My ten year old daughter understands this. She is rarely effected by any negativity that comes her way. Because she knows forgiveness, and can see the truth of others struggles. It’s a powerful discernment and one I will nurture in all of them.
if love is the absence of hate, it’s my responsibility to show them this.