love – Patience – Tolerance

There’s always light, struggle is optional

It’s now the sixth night of the triplets sharing their own room. And not to tempt fate but some sort of victory dance/celebration/hardnightonthemoctails is in order. I cannot remember the last time I felt so rested and mentally awake. It would seem moving the little chickens has been a positive move for all. My wife, myself and the triplets have enjoyed unbroken sleep from the night they moved.

We were expecting at the least, a few small protests at the change of environment, but settling into a new room and cots has been a peaceful transition. What a fantastic start to the year.

I was told, prior to their arrival, all we had to do was keep the babies alive in the beginning. And I understand this. But having now experienced the first six months of three Babies, and feeling like I’ve just survived being blasted out of an explosion. I can confirm there’s a little more to it than just keeping the babies alive. Retaining a level of sanity is definitely in the top three.

There must be people who have never experienced any real form of serious mental health conflicts until the arrival of babies. There were times I was sure I was regressing to a familiar dark mental place. I get why the separation rate is so high in the first year with parents of multiples. It’s incredibly sad but not overly surprising. The mental, physical and spiritual stress of the situation is beyond measure. But chance of survival is possible if there is a commitment to a loving spirit in the home. Patience and tolerance is everything, especially from the Man of the house during the pregnancy and first months after arrival. It really is a test of endurance at times. The temptation to become constantly overwhelmed is real. Mum’s and Dad’s have different problems to address, both need to work together.

There were two thoughts that kept me afloat at times , thoughts that were with me from the dating scan,

1. These three babies are a gift

2. I cannot let my family down

So to both reach this milestone relatively unscathed is a true blessing. There is a calming presence around our situation now that I haven’t felt before. Frankie is an amazing help, without which during the afternoon my wife would struggle. She has matured and grown so much herself as a result of the pregnancy and arrival of her sisters. Becoming a triplet parent can become an isolating experience as we have both discovered. Frankie really is a God send.

And the babies are doing fine. New skills are developing rapidly as they evolve in their surroundings. Our influence on them is everything at this stage.

Staying conscious of what is happening around me, and sharpening from stress is the only way I can bring stability to my home and family life. I found a way to practice this through meditation a few years ago.

Stress is a given as we both adjust to the road ahead, as Dad I need to be level headed and present for it all. Il leave the link to the 12 minute meditation here. Its all free, nothing to buy or sign up for. For me it has become the difference between the ability to deal with life rather than become ground down by it. It is the solution that has provided me with the strength to keep moving forward with a real sense of purpose.

Being a parent brings stress, frustration, fear, resentment, intolerance, impatience and the subsequent struggle and consequences those emotional responses bring. This is simply a way to observe the temptation to bite in those moments as they arise during the day , in the present moment, unaffected by them, with a little practice it can be done.

I hope you find this to be a real solution to any problems you may be experiencing. Light is a real guiding force. And this is life changing in every sense.

9 responses to “There’s always light, struggle is optional”

  1. Not gonna lie, I think you’ve done awesome. I used meditation a lot during the early stages of having our girl. I used to struggle a lot more then, can’t imagine how I’d cope with three! Keep doing what you’re doing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isn’t it amazing how older siblings step up when new babies are coming!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Frankie has been amazing


  3. Isn’t it amazing how older siblings step up when new babies are coming. They have their drama, but my son is such a big help with my daughter. Excited to see how the dynamic changes in May when #3 comes!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just found your blog through a UK parent bloggers group and was skimming through. I always love reading about multiples, and you seem like a fantastic Dad. The comment of ‘all we had to do was keep the babies alive’ though, is quite a tricky one for me, and something I find quite insensitive to read as someone who couldn’t ‘just keep her baby alive’. It is about much more than that, you’re right. Just s9me food for thought about who might be reading. Hope that’s okay.


    1. I’m truly sorry to read of your experience. I never write with any intention to offend. I simply share my experience as it pertains to my journey. Noted there are many subjects that can cause controversy to others when sharing from a personal perspective. My aim is simply to be of use to other’s.


  5. I can’t even imagine multiples! You are a hero! I love that you wrote this.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dealing with one felt hard enough, but the thought of triplets would send me to madness. I suppose it’s down to scheduling and planning everything out, but even finding the time to meditate seemed like an alien concept with young ones!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I understand that. Anyone though can find 5 mins here or there. It’s a commitment, one that has payed off in my experience over the last few years. Especially in dealing with triplets


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