love – Patience – Tolerance

Out of the SCBU & in at the deep end

The triplets came home on a Monday. They were transported one at a time by Stacey’s Mum, only because we only had one car seat at that point, due to delivery problems with the other two. I was back at work earning, so finishing work was exciting, there was also a sense of nervous anticipation.

There wasn’t any amount of mental preparation that would have me ready for the weeks to come. If you’re expecting multiples, expect tiredness, frustration, agitation, sleep deprivation, and lots of visitors with lots advice on the best way to do things. Your house won’t be yours for a good while. It’s just how it was for us. Our situation was anything but normal.

The set up at home for the triplets is a large travel cot in the living room that they all stay in during the day. At night they are positioned around our little bedroom in separate cots. As they were premature babies they did continue to sleep the majority of the time, so it did ease us into it a little bit. For a week or two at least.

Their shared cot

The number one priority when they came home was getting them settled and continuing a strict routine. Stacey and her Mum did an amazing job settling them into this.

I found many things challenging in those early weeks. I found it difficult being at work with my newborns at home. Even though Stacey’s Mum had moved in to help,  I began to feel edged out.

Some of Stacey’s anxieties resurfaced and she began to resent that I got to go to work during the day, I remember her saying during a heated moment, that my life hadn’t changed at all. I began to resent that she got to go back to sleep after the morning feeds when I left for work, it felt like my tiredness was irrelevant. It was all just stress coming between us again.

We were both exhausted. Stacey from breastfeeding and tiredness,  and me from work and not stopping in the evenings. All the above was fuelled by sleep deprivation and stress. It was back and it was getting to all of us.

looking back, and it’s not that long ago, it’s all a bit blurry to be honest. It was tough going, there were times it felt it would never end. There is a dimension of tiredness you enter that fogs your mind, where you know your suffering mentally but become numb to it. It’s almost nice.

In the end I was just functioning. Some nights after the babies hit full term, we were getting a broken hour and a half sleep, then I’d drive to work with the windows down to stay awake. Do a full day, then home and repeat.

You realise quickly that you’ll do anything for them. They are one hundred percent reliant on your presence

I never got resentful towards the babies though, I never felt a twinge of anger towards them. Knowing all I was doing was for my family, and that where we were wasn’t permanent, kept me afloat at times.

The grown ups in the house were not doing so great at times, but the babies were thriving still.

That was what was important getting through those first weeks. And we did get through.




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