I am someone who has dealt with a lot of change in my life (I never said I always dealt with it well). It was usually a matter of having to adapt to whatever the next situation was. And doing my best with the mental problems I developed usually didn’t do so well.
The last few years especially, have given me an opportunity to deal with the unknown in the stream of life very differently. Faith has allowed me to stay out of fear. It made our situation a very different experience. I did my utmost to remain conscious of those around me rather than getting lost in the fears that were trying to pull me in. I was able to be present. Don’t worry, I’m not here to promote anything. Every man must find a way to become free of his conflicts for the sake of those under his roof. My solution happened to be spiritual in nature. I will add a link to a friends page, and the free meditation that was passed on to me shortly. It is available to all.
I had no illusion that becoming a father to triplets was going to be an easy ride. Although excited from day one I was aware of the mammoth task ahead, and that it would be my biggest job until my final breath. And I was ready for it. My purpose in life slapped me right in the face the day I met Stacey and Frankie, it was then reinforced at the dating scan, three times over.
It was a miracle the triplets made it, and to be healthy aswell was such a blessing.
In those early NICU/SCBU days they just slept, even when awake there was no crying, they would just be awake, very alert and content. They were not being exposed to stress, from Stacey or myself. I know that stress causes all sorts of problems, internally and externally. I never wanted it affecting my children.
An over emotional Mum or Dad in a situation like ours would have brought hell on earth. When we stay calm, the babies pick up on it. They are more aware than you could imagine.
The SCBU days did lull me into a bit of a false sense of security. I began to think that their present state of calm would continue. Premature babies sleep. It’s what they do. I’m happy to report once again that I was wrong, not having expectations is definitely the way to go. Especially with triplets.
We got them into a feeding routine from day one. Routine is everything with our girls. It may all look a bit regimented from the outside but believe me, it will and does pay off.
They were all breastfeeding by the time they came home, they still are solely on breast milk. I didn’t realise how difficult that could be for some Mum’s, I’ve learned to be a bit sensitive in my replies when asked about it. Also in mentioning that they were spontaneous. Almost everyone presumed they were through IVF. There is a genuine shock when people realise they were conceived the old-fashioned way. No one more than we were.
At Twenty days old, Ava, Lacey & Blakely were fit and ready to come home. It was a rollercoaster from day one, but the girls, and Stacey had exceeded everyone’s expectations to reach that point. In the face of all the risks, Mama, with a pinch of grace, brought three bright lights into the world, and they shine brighter every day.
It humbles me to know that I am responsible for guiding them into the world. That as a father to four girls I have an example to set. So when they grow up and wander into the world, they will know what a man should be doing, how he should hold himself in the world, especially how he should be treating those he loves, so they will know what is right. What gifts to be entrusted with.
This I cannot afford to fail at.