love – Patience – Tolerance

1. Crying in the isle



Trying for a baby can become stressful. We tried for two years without any luck. The stress was added to by the false positives that the tests gave us on more than one occasion. I Remember the excitement we both felt when the faint blue lines appeared on the tests. Only to discover a few days later that it was just another false reading.Our chances seemed low as my wife has polycistic ovaries, and I had not had children. There was definitely pressure involved. We were also  in the process of looking at fertility treatment as an option. But didn’t like the risk of possible twins.

christmas 2016 was not a very relaxing time. We had recently moved into our new three bedroom home. Stacey was stressed, unlike I had known her to be. She was agitated and short fused, especially with me. I put it down to the stress of moving.

We spent Christmas with her family in Coventry. Stacey was sick and unable to eat, thought to be a stomach bug, her sister and mother were suspicious it was more.  We travelled home in time for New Years. We stopped only to buy ginger biscuits, ginger being a natural sickness relief for pregnant women unbeknown to me at that time.

On the morning of our second wedding anniversary Stacey’s mum and I finally convinced Her to take a test. All the signs of pregnancy were present, the fear of just another false positive , and the disappointment that would inevitably follow  had stopped her from taking it earlier .

Her face as she came out the bathroom was lit. The lines on the test were not faint, these were two very clear lines, which on that particular test read positive. We were pregnant, I was going to be a biological Dad, it was one of those life changing moments, I was overwhelmed with emotions. It was a special morning.

I went to the supermarket shortly after to grab some supplies. I remember the drive well. My chest was puffed up with a sense of pride,  in my mind I kept thinking back to the times in my life that were much darker, then being hit with the reality of my life now and the course it had taken. It was quite a different picture. I truly felt a blessed man.

In the supermarket my face was beaming,  I was blurting out my good news to random shoppers. They felt my joy. It was real, it was actually happening to us. As I walked down the isle to get bin bags I felt a rise from my stomach, all of a sudden I burst into tears, in the middle of the isle,  in front of a few bewildered shoppers. It was a cathartic release. All the stress, the worry, the unknown future , the fact my wife was pregnant, therefore probably a bit hormonal and didn’t just hate me,  all that stress left me in that moment, right in the middle of Asda.

My life was at it’s peak. I was to become  biological father . Frankie was to become a big sister and my wife a mother again to my child. It was a feeling and a moment I will never forget

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