love – Patience – Tolerance

6. Hunter-gatherer concerns

 When hit with the reality of a doubling of the family unit within the next seven months, a mans mind can spin somewhat.

For one thing the new family home was too small. I’m very proud of us getting this place , it wasn’t so many years ago I was registered homeless. I had started life from scratch again. We worked hard for it. It wasn’t just the house that was concerning me, but the finances too. Stacey would eventually be unable to work. And on one income things would get tight, quick.

The car was too small, I would need seven seats. How was I supposed to fit all the equipment that goes with three babies in the house? What if lose my job because of the time off work il have to take with all the scans and appointments?

There was plenty to consider, daily opportunities to disappear up my own backside with the stress, and not much time.

It’s easy to get distracted from the present moment when fear has such a strong pull. Worrying was pointless and would only stress us more.

All I needed to do was prioritize and do the little things I could. Looking back the mountain seemed a much higher climb. Fear has a way of creating more problems than really exist. I had to be conscious of this for my own sanity.

The main job and only real concern at that point was in front of me. It was to keep my wife level-headed for her own health and that of the babies  , and Frankie feeling involved, after all, she was developing her own fears about our relationship as now I would have biological children.


No matter how much I was tempted to struggle under the surface. Nothing else was more important than keeping the relationships under my roof afloat and remaining emotionally consistent.

This is a good point to mention with gratitude the endless support we’ve had from my mum and Stacey’s family. We are blessed in that sense. I have met other couples who are not as fortunate.

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