love – Patience – Tolerance

4. Telling Frankie


Frankies reaction to the pregnancy was that of a little sadness.  It had been only her and mum, then me for as long as she could remember. She had her worries, mainly that I would love them more because in her words “your their actual dad”.

I have given everything to my relationship with Stacey and Frankie. I see Frankie as my own so it was imperative that I remain conscious of her feelings around the pregnancy. I had to be careful how I worded that I was going to be a dad when she was present. She watched me like a hawk during the pregnancy and I made the effort to keep her as involved as I could.

A couple of nights before the dating scan she came down stairs hugging baby (her go to dolly) with tears in her eyes. We went into the kitchen and had a hug and I asked her why the tears. She looked at me and straight out said “you’re not going to have twins are you ” ?

She had overheard our conversations around possible fertility treatment and the higher chance of multiples.

“No honey ” I laughed, of course not, “that would only have been a possibility if we had fertility treatment, and we haven’t”

She had come round to the ideal of having one sibling. The prospect of two didn’t impress her much.

We both felt awful picking her up from school on the day of the dating scan. Needless to say here reaction wasn’t great. As much as I tried to convince her it was exiting and would be amazing, she cried quietly and didn’t really say much for the rest of the weekend.

She did eventually process it herself, more so when mum came round to the idea.

I felt bad Like I’d lied to her earlier in the week, even though we genuinely didn’t know we’d be having more than one. I’m a big believer in being honest with children. Nothing will create teenage angst more than a child growing up to realise their parents are dishonest , who have been punishing them for years if they are dishonest. I’ve already made my bed with santa and the tooth fairy and il deal with that when the time comes.

Frankie took the role of helper to both of us during the pregnancy, what an amazing help she was, and still is.

She was to become a very proud big sister. They are lucky to have her to look up to one day.

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